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A Small Question About Penises

March 28th, 2008

I don’t even know what to categorize this under, so it’s listed with “sex.” Even though it’s not, per se.

(Oh my God. Do not even get my Mom going on the phrase “per se.” The waitress the other night? At Roux? Yeah, why don’t you hit that website. It’s like freakin’ Cirque du Soleil or something. Anyway. Roux. Where we never eat because it’s, you know. A hundred-dollar tab FOR VEGETABLES AND MAC AND CHEESE?? And one ONE vodka drink for me. Not three. One. Anyway. The waitress at Roux: “We don’t have a kids’ menu, per se?” Me: “I’m not paying fourteen bucks a plate for mac and cheese for these two.” My kids smile winningly. The waitress: “I’ll talk with the chef.” Leaves. My mom: “Ha! Ha! She said ‘per se.’ Why? Why use that phrase?” Waitress comes back. “He can do mac and cheese for them. Or grilled cheese. Or PB and J. For six bucks?” Me: “Good.”)

What does this have to do with penises? Nothing, I’m just tripping. Because my kid’s FEVER FINALLY BROKE IS WHY! I’m knitting. I’m watching Dancing with the Stars (Best. Season. YET.) on Tivo.

Also, I noticed that that show, Puppetry of the Penis, is back in town. Maybe it was an old Arts & Entertainment Guide, I have no idea. But I think Puppetry of the Penis is Back. Probably at the Aladdin, which is, you know. FITTING. Ha! Ha! Penis joke, see?

I don’t think penises are that funny. They serve their purpose and all, but they don’t leave me guffawing. You would never catch me at Puppetry of the Penis is what I’m saying.

What I’d like to ask y’all, since you’re so sophisticated and everything, is this: Why is it that lesbians think penis jokes, Puppetry of the Penis (no I’m not giving them a link), Penis Humor, “per se,” are funny, but straight women are all, ewww. Get that thing away from me.


Why is this, Internets? Or is it just me?

OK, here’s their damn link. End of April. It’s funny that it’s at the Aladdin, see, cuz it used to be a porn house. I went to dirty movies there with my friend B. and his friends when we were in high school. We were all, Oh, my God. There really are guys in raincoats here. Snuck in booze. Got drunk. Had an all-around good time. Now it’s all, high-class Puppetry of the Penis? Whatever.


  1. Evi says

    I had a (straight) female friend who saw it in Seattle and loved it … but the idea just doesn’t do anything for me. Who wants to see mashed up penis shadows? Is it really that entertaining? They aren’t pretty!

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  2. nan says

    What? What? Can’t a girl go on vacation and stop reading your blog for a few days, without getting completely confused? I better go and read everything I missed, then it will all make sense, right? Or has the sun addled my brain?

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  3. WackyMommy says

    Welcome back, Nan! I got a sunburn, reading your blog entries. I’m addled over here, it’s not you. I just don’t see the humor in penises, unlike some of my more open-minded girlfriends.

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  4. Redheaded Stepchild says

    Penises must be funny. Every time someone sees mine they point and laugh…

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  5. WackyMommy says

    Alright — that’s funny.

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  6. Recovering Straight Girl says

    I really want to go to that restaurant, I’ve been trying to fanangle a time for awhile now. My friends who live in Salem but lived in N.O. for 12 years want to go with us. Can’t wait.

    Penises? I like penises as long as they stay where they are supposed to–in my nightstand.

    March 29th, 2008 | #

  7. WackyMommy says

    RSG — that is exactly the sense of humor I am talking about. For instance, I would like to come up with something smart-alecky and chime in here, but nothing comes to mind.

    March 29th, 2008 | #

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