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a note about Facebook

April 21st, 2009

Facebook, you have turned me into a slut. Just sayin’.

World, I didn’t go to the PTA meeting at my kids’ school tonight because I knew they would nominate me Queen of Something or Another and I CANNOT LIVE WITH THAT KIND OF PRESSURE.

I’m a little tipsy. I went out to Yetti’s with A and we drank a bottle of Terrapin Pinot Gris, plus we had bacon-wrapped dates (don’t tell my vegetarian son, because he’ll wail Why would you eat meat when there are so many other things to eat in the world? Yes, son, but none of them taste exactly like bacon. Except BACON that is) and we also had a dish of mixed nuts.

Did I mention that we’re watching the Pens play the Flyers and THEY JUST WON 3-1!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooooooo-hoooooooooooooo, we love Pittsburgh. Three games to one, let’s hope we wrap it up and move on.

Blazers won, too, by the by. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiip City. That’s right.

Wooooooooooooooooo you would think it was Facebook or something, the way I’m writing this. Damn you, BlackFriend for getting me all over the Facebook. It is awfully fun.

QOTD: Robert Frost

April 21st, 2009

“Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today; And give us not to think so far away;

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here, All simply in the springing of the year.”


— Robert Frost

How To Win At Hockey

April 20th, 2009

* Adjust and overcome

* Edge

* Puck control

I think we can all learn a little something here. Adjust and overcome, edge, puck control. And this: “You got to play with that edge, but you can’t cross that line.” And… “You got to know where the edge is.” (May I add, You also need to know what the edge is, when they keep talking about edge, edge, edge.)

“Edge! Play the blues.” — Bono, U2

Hockey God, rolling his eyes way back in his head, “Edge, who can’t hardly play guitar.”

One more, from the announcer: “Take the puck, with a sense of purpose, to the paint.” Got it? Now drop the frickin’ puck! It’s Stanley Cup season! (Even though TV Turn-off Week  is right now — it always falls during hockey play-offs — no problem — we make a special exception for my husband and the NHL. No TV unless it’s hockey. Sorry, kids. I know it seems unfair but you can deal.) Ready? Steady? Go!

“They’re all growing their play-off beards, you don’t see that in the NBA. Not since Bill Walton.” — Hockey God, pleased as hell, watching the Washington Capitals/N.Y. Rangers game

(And another quote from Hockey God, while watching a Blazer game last week: “Foul? You call that a foul? They didn’t even touch each other.” Me, mouthing what he always says: These basketball players — they go out there and just, like, hit each other with their purses, oh, I’m sorry, did I hit you with my purse? Oh, excuse me, I think you just fouled out! The ref wants you to go now. Oh, no problem!)

Etc.

I still like basketball more better, but que sera sera.

Did I mention that when I woke up this morning I thought I wasn’t assigned to a school next year, but now, end of day, I have found out YES I am assigned to my school again? Yes, I am. (Budget cuts are brutal this year, we’re all a little worried.) (“A little” is a huge understatement.)

Oh, being gainfully employed, what a beautiful thing. I was so thrilled that I cut my class and took Steve out to lunch to celebrate.

Sunday Night Advice Column for Wacky Mothers & Others

April 19th, 2009

Hmm. It’s been awhile, let’s see how rusty I am…

Q: How much $$$ do you make from your blog? Can I make some money if I start a blog, too?

A:  I review books, so I do get free copies of those (yes!!!). As for cash infusions? About $5 a month from my ads. Subtract the cost of the servers (we host our own sites, and a few others), DSL, the domain registrations, the Swiffer dustcloths for my desk and keyboard… Yep. The lifestyles of the rich and infamous, that’s us. Don’t quit your day job.

Q: Why are you so political, with the school politics and all?

A: Because I am an idiot. Next question?

Q:  How do I get my kid to read? He is not much of a reader.

A: How old is he? Read to him, if he’s young enough. Have him read to you. Go to the library once or twice a week. Learn how to put books, DVDs and CDs on reserve on your library card. Does he like graphic novels? I’ve had good luck with those, with the non-readers. They’re not “cheating,” they count! I promise. Try “American Born Chinese,” “Baby Mouse,”  any of the others. Superman should be renamed “super popular.” Go figure. And Kill Your Television, after that. (Isn’t it TV turn-off week this week? Lemme check…  Yep. SHOOT. I am tivo’ing Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters while I write this. Shoot.)

Q: How often do you and Hockey God have sex?

A: Why not ask Yahoo? Next question, please…

Q: Why don’t you blog more?

A: Because I’m so busy having sex.

Happy Sunday to you!

ttfn,

wm

Susan Boyle sez: I can sing, how about you?

April 15th, 2009

So. Good.

Susan Boyle’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent.

Hey. I’m reading another great book.

April 15th, 2009

Love going out to Amalah’s dad, Miz Elliott’s family (whew), and (as always) my granny, who is having a very hard time. Thinking of you, Lib. You are one sweet woman.

I’ve read about a dozen fantastic books lately, and I need to pass them along (back to the library, and I’ve promised some to the moms at school.)

Alix Kates Shulman, who wrote one of my favorite novels ever, “Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen,” has written a stunningly beautiful memoir about her life with her husband, Scott York, after he sustains brain and physical injuries in a fall. It’s called “to Love What is” and it is a magnificent book. It was just what I needed to read right now.

I also just finished “The Shack,” by Wm. Paul Young and it was good, but it freaked me out pretty hard. Also answered — or led me to answers for — a lot of my questions. I can’t really recommend this book, because if you read it and it makes you go into an “episode” and then you “blame Wacky Mommy for it,” well. I can’t handle that kind of pressure, people. So you’re on your own with this one. (ps — It is quite a little pop culture phenom, that book, and the story of how it came about is pretty intriguing.)

Loved “Stargirl” by Jerry Spinelli.

Loved “Strider” by Beverly Cleary. (Sequel to “Dear Mr. Henshaw.”)

Loved “The Republic of Love” by Carol Shields, but I loved everything she wrote. The whole Carol Shields canon is great — she has never been given her props, my friends. Go read her.

“It Will Come to Me,” by Emily Fox Gordon, kind of reminds me of Shields’ style, or Margaret Atwood’s. Cool book about an aging academic couple whose son has gone missing into the world of the homeless, and their struggles.

All for now — Psych 311 workbook is calling me. NOT as sexy as fiction. Sigh.

— wm

quote of the day

April 13th, 2009

My son, admonishing me: “You’re not supposed to say ‘butt,’ Mom. You’re supposed to say ‘rear end’ or ‘beehive.'”

“Around the World in Eighty Clicks”

April 13th, 2009

Dear Bef tagged me for a meme, asking me to list five ways I love being a mama. Ready?

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

I can’t think of any. I’m making a list in my head that goes like this:

1) I love when it’s summertime and we get out the wading pool — but they’re too big for the wading pool now. Yet they refuse to give the pool away, so there it rests, against the fence, gathering dead leaves, sticks and rain water. (Note to self: Take pool to neighbor’s house; leave in front yard.) Also, one kid loves going to the city pools; the other would rather punch you in the nose than agree to it. We go anyway and park him in the shade.

1a) I love when we all work together as a team and come to a family decision.

2) Every time I tell or ask my girl to take care of something (put the dirty socks in the laundry, take a shower, feed the cats, help set the table) as soon as I say, “Honey, will you please…” She responds, “No, I don’t feel like it.” She doesn’t feel like it! That is so precious.

2b) I love that the kids are getting older and more independent.

3) My son collects garbage. Excuse me. It’s what you and I might call “garbage,” but to him it’s “treasure.” (Dead things, sand, rocks, ants, earwigs, tinfoil balls, bullet casings.) (We live in the city.) (Yeah, we started having the “Don’t pick up any balloons! Or anything that looks like a balloon!” talk about six years ago.)

3a) I love the creativity they show.

4) Food. Vegetables offered, vegetables refused. Fruit offered, fruit refused. Mac n chz offered, mac n chz accepted.

4a) Every kid is different, eh?

5) Since I’ve been out on family leave, we can actually walk home from school sometimes. Theoretically, we could walk to school, as well. But who wants to wake up ten minutes earlier? “Oh, GOD, you WALKED? We have to WALK home???” (Other parents on playground hiding their smiles.) Then I am stuck listening to the kvetching for the next 15 minutes. And we can’t run by the library, like I had planned, because we need the car for that.

5a) I like being a mom, even with the chaos, the kvetching, the refusing to practice piano, do homework, pick up the Pokemon cards that seem to be on permanent display across the living room rug. I wouldn’t trade it for nuthin’. Besides, they leave for college in 8 years and four months and 11 years and four months, respectively. That’s not so long from now.

Happy clickin’.

wm

ps edited Monday night to say…

1) I love how sweet my kids are. I love the hugs and the kisses and all the goofy jokes.

2) I love when we watch videos from when they were babies and they “translate” for me . (“I was saying ‘I don’t like this book.'”)

3) I love 7 & 9 cuz they’re not little babies… but they’re not big kids yet, either.

4) I love when we play Uno and Sorry and I Spy.

5) I love watching them grow, play piano, garden.

It’s a wonderful life. Really.

wm

Easter Day mystery

April 12th, 2009

The Easter Bunny left three plastic eggs under a tree out front this morning.

One contained nothing; the other two had fortunes inside.

One said: THAT WHICH IS TIMELESS IS FOUND NOW and the other said: IF YOUR COMPASSION DOES NOT INCLUDE YOURSELF, IT IS INCOMPLETE.

(Hint: It was Buddha, not the Bunny.)

Happy Sunday, y’all.

love,

wm

hahahaha

April 9th, 2009

My son, having a conversation between his toy Land Rover and his toy pig:

Pig, facing down Land Rover: “Hey, don’t run me over, you like me, remember? You were my crazyass roommate!

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