Yeah, you heard me. We now have a Honey Bucket port-a-potty in the front yard. Resplendent. And the contractors didn’t care for the way my bedroom window looked, so they took it out and nailed up a couple of huge pieces of plywood over the hole.

Then they called it a day and split.

I (heart) contractors.

Yes, the contractors are here! All six of them, including one guy who looks like a DUI guy who careened into the backyard on his bicycle this a.m. You know DUI guys, right?

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Oh dammit all to hell — the contractors, the ever-elusive contractors we’ve been waiting for, nigh on three months now, finally, magically, reappeared today. It’s like having a vision, really, when you’ve been waiting for someone for so long and voila! There he is: The Contractor. He had a certain aura around him, a halo, glowing, and he said the magical words, “Hey. We’re ready to put up the scaffolding and get going.”

Then the Nasty Neighbor yelled at him and next thing you know — whoosh! He’s gone.

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What does it take to get over asthma? We’re doing the inhalers, taking our vitamins, trying to avoid flu and colds, which trigger it, and keeping the cats and dog out of the bedrooms (i know, i know, we should get rid of them, but the allergist sez Wacky Daughter isn’t allergic to them, at any rate, so it might not even help). We’ve torn up some of the carpets — and the latest carpet we ripped out lead us to the discovery of the Tilting House (see old blog entry for details), which we’re now realizing will cost us probably tens of thousands of dollars to repair.

because one thing leads to another.

because “as long as we’re at it” are the most dangerous words spoken when remodelling your home.

because we need to have more beams put in under Tilting House, which may crack the ugly stucco, or at least make a space between House and Stucco thus creating an Entryway for Milew and Crap. So, stucco must go. Once it’s down, we will find dry rot (we know we have some, just don’t know how much), thus necessitating repairing that, and then painting the whole house, and while we’re at it, why not knock a hole in the wall of the office and put in the french doors, leading to stairs to backyard, leading to patio (uh, we don’t actually have a patio out there, just grass, so we’ll have to build one) and… there ya go. Tens of thousands of dollars on this old lady of a house.

i love my house. We’ll just eat burritos all the time now, eh? And no more dinners out.