When I was a kid, the neighbors next door had a grandkid who used to visit all the time. Let’s call him “Danny” because that was his name. Danny had what nowadays we would call “issues.” Yet my mother, God love her for her patience and endurance, let him come over to play sometimes, fed him snacks, and one fateful year let him go trick or treating with us.

All was well until we knocked on the door of the crotchety old lady down the street.

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“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

— Jimi Hendrix, musician, singer, and songwriter (1942-1970)

Look — you give me the login and password for your blog, I am going to blog there. Take that, Hockey God. Heh heh heh. No one will be able to stop me now… no one, I tell you! Heh heh heh…

I made the rounds to the Starbucks stores today and gathered up ceramic mugs, travel mugs, pitchers for steaming milk, and little tasty boxes of Vanilla After Dinner Mints and Gum for the teachers at school, for Teacher Appreciation Week. (Dedicated as the first full week in May, but we’re celebrating May 8-12 at our school.)

But you know I couldn’t be normal about it, right? As I am not. Abbey Normal, here.

I’m going to add this post to the School Fundraising Primer, so look for it there.

Enjoy your day, everyone!

WM

SINUSITIS SOUP

Now, doesn’t that sound delicious? All that matters to me is that it works. It’s Hockey God’s creation. Give it a try next time you’re ailing.

1 onion, sliced thin
1 bulb garlic
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
6 cups water

Saute onion and garlic (I like whole cloves, but you can chop or press) on low until soft. Add bouillon cubes and squish. Add water and bring to boil. Can be garnished with fresh slices of jalapeno for an extra sinus kick. Wasabi would be good, too.

Reduce water and bouillon by half to thicken.

Go look at this blog right now.

Go Fug Yourself

Enough about the school district, school closures, recipes, how-to’s, product and book reviews (I have a backlog that I still am not reviewing anytime soon, but will someday, sorry), the remodeling, the kids who will just not stop screaming and whining (hmm — wonder who they get that from?), etc. OK, I will say one thing, cuz I know the anticipation has been killing you — THE TILE IS ALL DONE! I EVEN TOOK PICTURES TO POST! But I can’t because I am just too toasted. So deal. Also, the tile guy is so nice and now hates my neighbor more than I do. Cuz her yard stinks. And she stinks. And she was rude to him. My tile guy, who is pulling this whole long, sad, way overdue project together and ta-da!

Don’t be rude to my tile guy, damn, what the hell is wrong with you, Neighbor from Hell?

(PS — Not Naked Neighbor, I mean the one who helped extricate me from The Mess. And was this a bonding experience for us? It was for me, but not her, apparently, cuz she bitched me out up one side/down the other two days later??? Shut up, WitchyPoo! I was feeling all sentimental toward you.)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HER AND HER STINKY BARNYARD BACKYARD AND HER IDIOT DOG WHO FRICKIN’ NEVER STOPS YAPPING AND HER XMAS TREE WHICH IS, YES, STILL IN THE DRIVEWAY. It’s April, savvy?

This is all about me, me, me and my hideous sinus infection and the “course of steroids and antibiotics” that I am now taking to avoid pneumonia. For the second time. I just went through this in February. Yes, it’s not enough that I get a sinus infection that makes me ache and cry and feel swollen and unable to breathe. It moves right down the nasal passages into my lungs and voila! Bronchitis, then bronchial pneumonia.

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Ahem. These are but a few of the searches people have used, thus finding me, Wacky Mommy, Writer at Large:

guinea pigs and pinkeye (funny — we just had pinkeye here again…)
booty coverings
horrid gory pictures (because, like, you find sooooooo many pictures on my blog)
sean croghan email
michael corinthos is kidnapping (a General Hospital reference)
because i said so shirt
i make milk, what’s your superpower?
how long does it take to vacuum a house (don’t ask me!)
sexy mommy with big ass (thank you!)
dirty thieves
tom and katie freak baby
voluptuous housewives (thank you again!)
cybill shepherd breasts
p diddy mac and cheese

(and, last but not least…)

*how much does it really cost: remodelling / repair.* (baby, don’t ask. There is tile ON THE FLOOR in the bathroom and tile ON THE WALL in the shower and NO IT’S NOT DONE, BUT ALMOST. You know who finally fixed the messed-up framing in the shower? No, not the one framer who came out here twice or the other framer who came out here twice. That’s right — the tile guy. He finally straightened it out because there was nothing standing between him and getting the g.d. tile installed. And the TRIKE THAT SAVED MY LEGS is now parked in the yard, in all its glory.)

I’m admiring the floor tiles right now. Terra cotta, with a hint of blue kind of splashed across. They go nicely with the almond tiles for the shower. (It’ll have two stripes of cobalt blue, to accent. One stripe is a third of the way up the shower wall, and the second is another third of the way up from that.) They’re all in my office, the tiles. Along with the toilet, now dubbed Office Space Toilet. The floor guy could not bring in the hideous backer board from the front porch, or even start on the tile, cuz they had to start from scratch again.

On the dry rot on the bathroom floor.

On re-re-framing the shower. (We do it nice, cuz we do it thrice?)

So here I wait, with the toilet, and the tiles, for the tile guy to come by again.

Auf wienerschnitzel.

The monkeys just can’t help it. (Thanks for this, Wacky M.)