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first of all, it’s my birthday. second of all, “Are you that Crazy Mama?”

June 24th, 2009

Woot. IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Second of all, my husband and I celebrated by going to Willamette Week’s big ol’ rooftop party gala extravaganza in honor of their new magazine. Why were we invited? I have no idea. It was not on the rooftop of the Hotel Deluxe (aka formerly the Mallory, where we went on our wedding night), but rather was on the rooftop of the Mallory Hotel Deluxe’s parking garage across the street. We ran into Byron and Juan (I love you Juan! OK, Byron, I love you, too, you know it. But mostly I LOVE JUAN, go Basic Rights Oregon) (ps — they could use some donations, y’all, if you have some change to spare)… Byron and my husband compared play-off beards. They both look extremely virile and handsome is my take on it.

We drank a lot of beer. In fact, we just parked it next to the keg line because that way we’d see everybody. Who did we know? No one. Because we’re old and don’t know who all these crazy 20-somethings are, rampaging around. We did see MS, and he and Steve only talked school politics for thankfully a short time. And we saw my delicious girlfriend K and her perfect, flawless boyfriend J. (Suits her, as she is perfect and flawless, too.) (Seriously.)

Also, there was the cutest woof-woof there, begging chips off of everyone. And a tiny Chi-hua-hua, too. (Say it: Chi-hoo-a-hoo-a. That is how it is pronounced.)

OK, back to Byron. He wanted to know, “Nancy, are you that Crazy Mama?” I’m all, Byron, you know I’ve had my blog for like five years now, duh. I am The Crazy Mama.

Then he wanted to know why I hate The Mayor. I don’t care what the man does in bed, just don’t be a big liar like my gay ex-boyfriend is my deal.

me: “You know why I have issues with this.”

Byron: “Mm-hmm.” (because hello, he was my next door neighbor — he totally knows why I have issues with this.)

me: “People think I am having a certain set of issues but I am having a whole different set of issues.”

Byron: “Mm-hmm.” (snaps my picture)

Then, we visited, ate some too-spicy mango habanero salsa which made steam come out my ears, so I had to drink all of Steve’s beer plus some of my fancy, glamorous bottled water. Then I had to pee of course. And I won’t use porta-potties because damn. Why would I? So we ran over to the Hotel Glamorous Deluxe Mallory, where I took a pee in their Deluxe Glamorous bathroom. Then I made reservations for us to stay there in September, to celebrate our whatever anniversary that will be.

A lot is what it will be.

A lot of years, Internets. Poor Steve.

Then (isn’t it just like you’re right there with me?) we had a drink at the Driftwood Bar, where I spent untold hours drinking with my favorite uncle in the world, my dear departed Uncle Chuck, my daddy’s brother, and I’m all — This is not the same bar, while I sipped at my vodka tonic.

“It used to be in the restaurant, right? Not separate like this?”

The dog from the party was there. At the bar. What? OK. Then Steve says, “The girl sitting at the table right next to us is like two years older than our daughter.”

And you know what, Internets? She really was. (OK, now I know Leslie and Zip will be all, Where were the children, Nancy? At grandma’s is where. For the night.)

So we had to leave. Our friends Peg and Mike gave us a lift home and we drank more beers. (I know, I didn’t think it was possible either.)

The End


  1. Steve R. says

    Byron almost convinced me to keep my beard.

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  2. edj says

    You ARE that crazy mama! Happy birthday to you!

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  3. Lelo says

    There is only one Wacky Mommy, and it is you. :) Happy birthday gorgeous. Wink sends licks.

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  4. wacky cousin says

    Happy, happy! Byron’s still around? Wow.
    I woke up last night, in a sweat trying to figure out the date, so I could say Happy Birthday. Turns out, it was today.

    Love you and Happy Birthday from me and Bubba!

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  5. zipdodah says

    Happy Birthday darlin WM! Glad to hear you had the night to yourselves and the kids were not throwing a big bash back at the ranch ;)

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  6. The Other Laura says

    Happy Birthday! I am swooning with envy – it sounds like you guys had a blast!

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  7. Nan says

    Pardy on Wacky Mommy! A night without the kids – woot! Happy Birthday, June Gal!

    June 24th, 2009 | #

  8. Vixen says

    It is a good thing you love and will forgive me for being a day late: Happy Brithday sweetie! Are you older than me now?

    June 25th, 2009 | #

  9. WackyMommy says

    Hey… thanks, y’all. It was a great birthday.

    June 25th, 2009 | #

  10. rene says

    I just got back from camping with my kids and I MISSED your birthday. Happy birthday Wacky!

    A new magazine for WW, eh? Tell all!

    June 28th, 2009 | #

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