“Words are loaded pistols.”

— Jean-Paul Sartre, writer and philosopher (1905-1980)

This morning I was at New Seasons, buying snacks for Wacky Boy’s class, and overheard two of the stockboys talking:

SB #1: “You have no hope? Sometimes I think I’ve given up all hope, but really, you have no hope?”

SB #2: “All hope is gone. I have given up on hope.”

me: “No giving up on hope.”

SB #1: “Thank you!”

Post-A-Vista No. 6: Woooooooo-hooooooo It’s VIXEN!

Vixen, this is everyone. Everyone, this is the VIXEN! There! It’s done.
Now we all know each other.

In the meantime, Vixen is extremely young and delectably pretty but is already a Wacky Grandma! How did she work that? She lives in Southern California!!! She has a big honey of a husband and loves to write. Also, they haven’t had a crisis yet today! (We hope.) So let’s hear what SHE has to say!!!!!

1. Describe your family: I have a strong and loving family. A regular family with quirks and flaws. My husband and I met in middle school and have been married for almost 26 years. I have five kids (three biological & two who found us), two adorable grandchildren (and another on the way).

2. Name one thing America is doing right for parents (I, personally, would find this question “challenging.” wm): This is a very challenging question. It depends on whether we are talking America/government or America/culturally. I guess I would say creating an environment where we, as parents, can question and decide for ourselves what is best for our children.

3. Name one thing America is not doing right for parents: I think there is an entire cross-section of parents living between poverty and middle class who are unable to access opportunities others may take for granted.

4. What’s one parenting issue that really “riles you up,” makes you ready to work for change: The state of our public education. The system is out of control and not functioning. Our kids suffer and America suffers because parents must spend valuable time fighting the system; time that would be better spent with the children and families.

5. Who’s gonna get your vote for President ’08 & why? (feel free to
ignore this question): My daughter, Bear. She is attractive, witty, intelligent, down to earth, and very personable. She could probably save the world. She is a write-in, obviously.

6. Name one thing Post-a-Vistas could do to be a better place?: I think it’s pretty good just how it is.

7. What’s your fave thing about parenting? (And grandparenting?): Unconditional
love. Getting it and giving it.

8. Anything else you think we should know about you?: “Some people call me the space cowboy; Some call me the gangster of love; Some people call me Maurice…” OK, they don’t but they should!

Thanks for playing, Vixen!!! You are an excellent sport. Keep coming back, it works!

Hockey God, on his high school years: “I stayed out ’til 3 a.m. at a party, and after that my dad gave me a curfew of midnight. Which I thought was ridiculous, because the bars didn’t close until 2.”

me: “You were in high school.”

Hockey God: “Yeah, but the drinking age in Iowa was 19 then. And the third set didn’t start until 11 or 11:30. You wouldn’t want to leave midway through the third set. And all the good college parties were just getting going at midnight.”

me: “My mom tried to set boundaries the end of my senior year — she told me my boyfriend couldn’t stay the night anymore. But by then he’d been sleeping over for a couple of years. So we just started staying the night at his house.”

Hockey God: “See? You wouldn’t have been happy with a midnight curfew, either.”

Our daughter and son will be teenagers in five and eight years, respectively. You know what I’m guessing — they won’t want to leave midway through the third set, either.

dear internets,

This is the worst news I’ve gotten all week, cuz I love my girl Rockstar Mommy. (more…)

I love this crazy clip. Thanks to my father-in-law for sending it along.

Dear, long-lost Thursday 13ers and All You Usual Suspects,

How the heck are you, friends? I’ve been… everywhere, man.

“Done laid around, done stayed around
This old town too long;
Summer’s almost gone, winter’s coming on…”

Oh, wait. Winter’s almost over, it’s almost spring. Whatever, it works for me. What does all of this have to do with Disneyland? Nothing. It’s just — we haven’t talked in awhile. I wanted to catch up. Here’s your list:

13 Things I Must Say Blow Me Away About Disneyland

1) They don’t perform weddings anymore next to the castle. How magical is that? Not very. (My friends C & K got married there — so romantic.)

2) The Electrical Parade rocks just as hard as everyone said it would.

3) My kids love it. Love it for 12 hours straight and want to go back the next day for more love it. They’re kinda cynical, for an 8- and 5-year-old (geesh), but not once did I hear “This is boring.”

4) The Tiki Room? Always a hit with me. I don’t care how dusty those birds are, or how hokey it is. If I could have the Tiki Room attached to my house I would be in seventh heaven. Tiki Heaven. Especially with a Pineapple Whip in hand.

5) Large asses. I have never seen so many large asses in my life. We have photos to prove it. (Like we need to. Ha.) “The Asses of Disneyland: A Series.”

6) Pirates of the Caribbean: Betta than evah.

7) Vodka in frozen lemonade? Well, you can have it if you remember to sneak in a flask.

8) Line for Mickey: Way Too Long. Line for Goofy? Not long at all! But he went on break right as Wacky Girl got to the front of the line. Damn dog. “But he shook my hand, it’s OK! Just didn’t sign my book!” All is forgiven, Goofy.

9) Speaking of Toon Town — my daughter went ga-ga for Toon Town — we had to go back twice. I didn’t expect that.

10) Jungle Cruise: Closed for repairs. It’s A Small World: Also closed for repairs. The looks on everyone’s faces: Priceless. (Those are my two favorite rides, though, so I was a little bummed.)

11) Admission? Let’s not discuss that. Instead let’s talk about Downtown Disney…

12) Build-A-Bear: Yes! Build two!

13) Beignets and cafe au lait at the New Orleans place — always a hit.

More on the trip later… Happy Thursday.

Love,

WM

Name the movie that line came from.

Yes, Internets, it’s true. I went to Southern California and did not visit Miss Vixen, or Y from the Internet, and I barely spent any time at all with my auntie. Selfish brat. (Me, not her.) I did spend a little too much time at Disneyland and LegoLand, however.

(Did you know that if you eat two Thin Mints with a cup of coffee, it’s just like having a peppermint mocha? Girl Scout cookies are here…)

xxox

wm

That’s it! What else would you like to hear? Do you think it’s odd that the Nekkid Neighbors returned home from their trip at the exact same minute we returned from ours?

Kooky is what that is!

wm

“Miss Otis regrets, she’s unable to lunch today, madam,
Miss Otis regrets, she’s unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
but last evening down in Lover’s Lane she strayed, madam,
Miss Otis regrets, she’s unable to lunch today…”

Oh, now. It wasn’t anything grim, don’t get excited. But I wasn’t able to lunch with y’all last week because I was… Where? You guess. Vixy was the only one who missed me, apparently. (And no, you don’t get a guess, girl. Cuz you knew!) (Ditto the rest of yins who already know the answer.) So, where in the world did the Wacky Family go on vacation?

And did it really warrant removing the children from school for an entire week? (I’ll answer that one: Yes, it did.)

Would you like to know the lyrics to the song my daughter sang most of the way home? Yeah, OK. Here you go:

“That darn party pooper there he goes,
pooping out parties!
Paaaaaaaarties once again! Yeah, yeah.
Shake that booty, right in the Baaaaaaaaaarbie’s face! Woo!
Where’s… Super Granny? Where?
There she is! Look Super Granny, it’s the party pooooooooper!
‘Little girls, do not be crude!’
That darn party pooper, Super Granny can’t solve the riddle.
Oh! Oh! There’s my pizza, left over from yesterday!”

(Like how she worked the reality of finding old Pizza Hut in the car right into the song, no problemo?)

Her brother, in a deep voice: “Super. Batman. Is. Here.”

Yes. Imagine all that, times 2,000 miles. (That’s a hint.)

xxox

wm