It was from one of my editors, when I worked at the university newspaper. and once he realized that i loved every single one of these songs even more than he did… he said…

“Awww, Nancy, just go on and keep it, cuz at least you were honest about it.”

And… the thief is rewarded for her honesty, once again.

Here’s a partial songlist, I’ll add more as they come to me (naw, they’re not in the same order they were on the tape):

“The Race is On, “George Jones (not the stinkin’ Grateful Dead version, bleeeeeeeeeech)

a bunch of nasty songs by Bessie Smith that were sooooooooo good. (these ones don’t show up on YouTube, sorry ;)

“Milk Cow Blues” and “Stay All Night (Stay a Little Longer)”, Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys

“I Couldn’t Believe it Was True,” Willie Nelson

“Crazy” and/or “Walking After Midnight” (can’t remember for sure), Patsy Cline

“Bartender’s Blues,” by George Jones

“Take This Job and Shove It,” by Johnny Paycheck

“My Bucket’s Got a Hole In It,” Hank Williams

“If You Got the Money,” by Merle Haggard

“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

— Holden Caulfield in “The Catcher in the Rye,” by J.D. Salinger, Little, Brown and Company, Inc., 1951 (although Holden’s character first appeared in Salinger’s short story, “Last Day of the Last Furlough” in a 1944 issue of the Saturday Evening Post.) (just fyi. wm)

Why do I want to teach? Or (better question) why do I want to continue to teach? (Since I’ve already been teaching, just in a classified position, not certified, for almost three years now.) Yeah, good question. In the class I’m taking this semester, we’re exploring that. Because why bother, if you can’t pin down why you’re bothering? Also, if I would have known that graduate school was going to be such a mind-blower, so fun and intriguing and challenging, I would have gone right after I finished my undergrad degree, like I should have.

Not true — I didn’t know what I wanted to get my degree in, back then. Certainly didn’t want to teach. I tried some education classes, as an undergrad and could. not. stay. awake. eyes closing……… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t drop the class and go out to the clubs with their friends and dance all night. Alternately, they play cards and drink at home ’til all hours.”
— Wacky Mommy

“My girl wants to/
party all the time/
party all the time/
party all the tiiiiiiiime…”

— my friend JoJo, singing Eddie Murphy’s song to her sister and me

Oh, JoJo. Whenever old men would hit on us downtown she’d woof at ’em like a dog. Pretty girl, barking? Pretty funny. Then we’d run off.

So no, I wasn’t ready for this, then. Writing would have been the obvious choice, but why? So I could write? I was already writing. I write every day, even when it rains. Especially when it rains. Always have. So I guess… I wasn’t ready until now?

For my schtick for class, because I am “visuals impaired” (not to be confused with “visually impaired,” although I’m that, too), I decided to illustrate my path in life via books.

Wicked smart, no? I suggest that you share this idea with all your friends and family. Books are highly undervalued as a supporting player when it comes to presentations. PowerPoint gets all the credit.

Here is the list of the books I chose:

a primer from when my dad was a kid

a primer from when I was a kid

“Catcher in the Rye,” by my main man, J.D. Salinger

Santa Biblia/Holy Bible, Edicion Bilingue/Bilingual Edition (a gift from my husband)

the “Nancy Drew” books, by Carolyn Keene

“Little House in the Big Woods,” by Laura Ingalls Wilder

“The King, the Mice and the Cheese,” by Nancy and Eric Gurney

“Are You My Mother?” by P.D. Eastman

“Eloise: The Absolutely Essential Edition,” by Kay Thompson, illustrated by Hilary Knight (and a small digression: I am unable to weed the following books from any library in which I work: fairy tales/fables, 398.2; poetry, 811; and anything illustrated by Hilary Knight. Just one of those little “librarian quirks.”)

“Henry Huggins,” by Beverly Cleary

“Home Price,” by Robert McCloskey

“Harriet the Spy”

“From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler”

“That Crazy April,” by Lila Perl

“A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” by Betty Smith

“The Great Gatsby,” by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Song of Solomon,” by Toni Morrison

“The Portland Review”

the “Harry Potter” series, by J.K. Rowling

“The Invention of Hugo Cabret,” by Brian Selznick

the “Oryx and Crake” series, by Margaret Atwood

And the piece de resistance… which I had just read to my first- and second-grade students that very day:

“Green Eggs and Ham,” by Dr. Seuss

“Thank you, thank you, Sam I am.”

As for the presentation? It went okay, I think. But I’m not sharing it here — too personal. Besides, you already know it all. hahahahaha. (That’s a little “blogger joke.”) I will tell you something, though — we all wrote out affirmations and feedback for each other. And while I, like Holden, hate all that kind of crap, it was excellent and made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Yes, that’s right. My cohort has broken me. I knew someone would, eventually.

One of them wrote me a note, with my name at the top followed by the words, “My life is an open book.” Underneath was a sketch of “Green Eggs and Ham,” and a C.S. Lewis quote: “We read to know that we are not alone,” followed by, “Great job.” All of the notes were cool like that. It’s enough to make a girl feel like she’s not flying solo through life. Oh, wait, Internets… I already knew that one ;) Thank you.

Even if you’re not “required” to do one of these, a LifeMap is pretty cool. I highly recommend that you do one. Break out the colored pens, the magazines to make a collage, the visuals and the written words. Sketch it, bake it, put it to music, whatever works for you. Tie in the political, the philosophical, the ethical. What about family? Friends? Teachers and others who influenced you?

Ask yourself: What brought me to where I am today? Where am I going from here?

You can swipe my books idea if you’d like. There! I just gave my first assignment.

— wm

From my desk calendar, Aug. 21-22, 2010: “I went to college for this?”

Hahahahaha… wait. That’s not funny. But I am. I am your Daily Bitch. Only lately it’s not daily, is it, you poor lil deprived things. Sorry. I’m busy! Watering the yard takes up a lot of time.

I started my new job. My boss is great. Generally I don’t blog about work because, you know. Dooce. (Or as I like to call her, “My little Doocey-woocey.”) You know her, the founder of the expression: “Be ye not so stupid.” Well, who’s laughing now, Internet? Dooce writes about work all day long.

So. With that little disclaimer out of the way… My boss is v. cool. She is Cool 7.0, or possibly Cool 10.0 and I am looking forward to this school year. As my old roommate used to say, “If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s me.” My response, “No, me!” Him: “Me!!!!” etc.

Also I found a ton of new books (including a crateful donated by my Wacky Kids) and I spent the whole day getting the books into the database, bar-coded, with fresh jackets and their little ID stamps, “Property of Wacky Mommy’s New School.” And a fair amount of tape was involved. Mostly I went into liberry work so I can play with tape, stampers and kids all day. Not in that order. The stampers probably are the most critical component for me. Ha! I jest! I’m in it for the love bucks from the students, pure and simple.

So. What’s up, Internet? How’s my girls? And guy? What you may or may not know about me is that I take copious notes. I have hypergraphia, I’m pretty sure. My notepad of choice: My left hand.

Right now it says:

hamster fud
charge Netbook
prom. note
checkbook

That’s right! Cuz in addition to going back to work today (after more than 2 long, glorious months spent in the garage, sorting through my grandma’s china, my other grandma’s “Arkansas Crystal” and… if you haven’t read this post yet, you should, cuz it really sums up my mom’s side of The Family…

(My daughter, “Mom, are you going anywhere with this?”) (Yes, I am.) (Seriously, that’s her new line, she kills me.)

I start grad school on Wednesday. Any school, any place, any time, they should just type a little note at the bottom of the first letter they send you, and that note should say:

plz bring your checkbook!

So I am taking out loans, and a Promissory Note is in order. Hmm. Can I promise what I’ll give them if we re-neg?

* Arkansas Crystal
* the “good slides”
* the 20-year-old truck. It’s paid for!
* and I’ll bake them some Mexican wedding cakes and a Chocolate Volcano Cake.

That should do it, don’t you think?

ttfn,

your friend,

wm

They had lessons at one of the neighborhood high schools, so my mom signed me up. They wouldn’t let the parents in the building. This aggravated her. They yelled at us a lot, then they made us all go off the diving board before we were ready.

“Sink or swim!” — credo of the ’50s, ’60s, ’70s

I was terrified. So they stuck out a long metal pole and told me to hold onto it and jump. I don’t remember what happened after that. I might have drowned for all I know. Oh, wait… here I am. I might have sunk to the bottom like a stone and needed mouth-to-mouth. I might have swam like a fish and learned my side-breathing. Oh, wait… I still can’t stick my face into the water and do the side-breathing and swim laps, no, it freaks me out. I love water aerobics, cuz the ladies all wear funny swim caps and it’s good exercise. I can swim okay, but don’t try getting me near a diving board. Also my dad had a sad, horrible death that involved water and honestly? I am proud of myself for even being near water, alrighty? Alrighty!

I write this today because here is the thing you never find out about parenthood ’til it’s too late — you can really be traumatized by it. Seriously. Both of my kids are swimming great, doing their side-breathing, one of them is flinging her body off the diving board and from the end of the pool into 12-foot water with so much reckless abandon that it takes my breath away. She also got invited into Black Belt Club with taekwondo, which doesn’t mean she’s a black belt yet, but means they want her out there sparring cuz she has that certain je nais se quoi. (And yes I spelled that almost exactly right without even looking. See? Talents of my own.) My reaction to her invite was, Wow, okay, Mommy needs to have a nice stiff drink then we’ll talk about that, okay? (and I wrote out a check to the studio for her sparring gear.) (her teacher: “I’ll custom build it myself, it will rock, she’ll love it.”)

Meanwhile, I’m by the side of the pool, hyperventilating. And when they ask me, after each and every lesson, Mom, did you see that? I’m all, Yes! goodjobsweetieniceworkwhewwwww…

Seriously. Seriously!!! Everything I know about parenting you could stick on the head of a pin and still have room left over for the Pledge of Allegiance.

buh-bye.

— wm

edited later to say: Just had a little chat with my girl.

me: “Black belt does not mean weapons, you know.” (I saw the note on the board at school last night that said, Black belts purchase your swords now!)

Wacky Girl, cheerful and full of glee: “No, but it means you can have weapons.”

Classic.

* mission to avoid paperwork: completed. it culminated with my 1) cleaning the hamster cage and 2) weeding the driveway.

* eventually, when you’re trying to avoid something, you realize that the energy you’re spending avoiding it is taking far, far more effort than the energy it would take to complete the damn thing you’re trying to avoid.

* SO COMPLETE IT ALREADY, WHY ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELF?

* Yes. I was putting the finishing touches on the whole thing, feeling all proud of myself, and voila! guess what? A three-page essay was required. A three-page essay that I had “somehow” managed to “overlook” until right this very afternoon. Luckily I like to write, so voila again! I wrote it! It’s done now, kit and kaboodle, addressed and sitting here in its fancy envelope. I will mail it tomorrow. Thank you and good night.

* Oh. Yes. We went to see the new “Twilight” movie. “Eclipse,” it is called. It was a reward to my daughter, for putting up with me freaking out and procrastinating over The Paperwork. (I told her once I had finished it up, we could go. We took Ms. New Orleans with us and went out for a fancy dinner first. Then we got candy from 7-11 on the way to the movie. Don’t you love sneaking in candy? I do.) Y’know what? I liked the movie. Hmm. Will ponder that later.

* I love the Beaverton Farmers Market. We all love it. My dog loved it, my grandma loved it, my husband and kids still love it. I like all of the vendors out there, from the sweetheart who sells her homemade cheesecakes to the family that does the kettle corn to the guy who fixes my iced latte, but these are just a few of my top picks:

Thank you, Rosecrest Farm, for the awesome swiss cheese. Thank you, hippie boys at Deep Roots Farm for always being so sexy. Thank you, Souper Natural lady, for being so funny and for making the best Italian Wedding soup I’ve ever tasted.

And thank you, Arcane Cellars, for the delicious wine, and for the Bon Appetit recipe for Spicy-Sweet Tangerine Shrimp with Baby Bok Choy (“pair with Arcane 2009 Pinot Gris”). Would you like to try it? Well, okay then!

Ingredients:

* 6 baby bok choy, halved lengthwise
* 2 tablespoons Asian sesame oil, divided
* 1 1/2 pounds uncooked large shrimp, peeled, deveined
* 1/3 cup frozen orange-tangerine concentrate, thawed
* 1/3 cup Asian sweet chili sauce
* 12 strips tangerine peel
* 1 1/2 teaspoons distilled white vinegar
* 1 teaspoon oyster sauce
* 2 green onions, chopped
* 1 1/2 tablespoons minced peeled fresh ginger

Preparation: Cover bottom of large skillet with 1/2 inch water. Add bok choy; drizzle with 1 tablespoon oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover; cook over high heat until bok choy is tender, about 5 minutes. Arrange bok choy around edge of platter. Boil liquid in skillet until reduced to glaze, about 1 minute; pour over bok choy.

Mix shrimp and next 5 ingredients in medium bowl. Heat 1 tablespoon sesame oil in same skillet over high heat. Add onions and ginger. Sauté 1 minute. Add shrimp mixture. Toss until shrimp are just opaque in center, about 3 minutes. Using slotted spoon, transfer shrimp to platter. Cook sauce until thickened, about 2 minutes. Spoon sauce over shrimp.

Summer is officially ON.

Some random thoughts:

1) we went to the beach, it was fun, i was grouchy, why my family doesn’t disown me i have no idea. happy birthday, mom. Sorry.

2) a huge hunk of the deck found its way into my foot. while we were on vacation. Cuz i know how to relax. And only half of it came out. yeah. infection. tiny tweezers and lots of alcohol (rubbing, not the kind you drink) finally dug the rest of it out. good God, I’ll be glad when i can walk again.

3) planted pumpkins and flowers last week and it’s been so hot they’re already sprouting!! yay, plants.

4) when u invite the really nice neighbor kid to do taekwondo with you as your guest, it’s important that you not drive off and leave him behind, Steve. just sayin’. His mom is really understanding, thank goodness.

5) did i mention that i love our new neighborhood? the kids dart in and out of each other’s houses, people invite you over, people wave and say hello. except for us, of course. we’re fairly skilled at driving off and leaving people behind.

6) also, it’s quiet.

7) i like quiet.

8) can’t find the post office, but did find the nearest university — looks like they might be able to get me started on my master’s in teaching (plus library work plus reading specialist endorsement) as early as… August? (pssst — that’s next month.)

9) today, the cat threw up all over; the PC got infected and is not happy; the server was crashed (but now we’re up? i think?); the cupboard door in the laundry room fell apart in my hand; i broke the vacuum cleaner; we left our friend in the driveway and… I couldn’t walk. But all in all? A banner day. Because I’m starting grad school soon. For real. Thank you.

10) gotta go, Spocky.

yes it is.

I haven’t gotten tagged for a meme for a long, long time, but Wacky Mummy hit me! So thank you, Ms. Wacky Mummy from Canada :)

The rules are to 1) thank the person who gave you the award 2) tell seven thing about yourself and 3) pass the award on to other bloggers whom you love, and, I suppose, find to be versatile.

7 Things about me:

1) “I never knew love… no, I mean real love… I never knew that kind of love… til this moment with you…” (Quick, who sang that song? Give up? Here he is…)

2) I never intended this to be such a cheesy blog. It’s grilled cheese, covered with melted cheese, with some shredded cheese and Velveeta on top. I don’t know exactly what I was thinking, when I decided to confess all to The Internets, but here i am, baby. Cheese and all.

3) My favorite song is probably “Heaven’s Just a Sin Away.” My Dear Granny loved that one, too. Or “You Shook Me All Night Long” (AC/DC). Yeah, it’s a toss-up.

4) Facebook is killing my writing.

5) I’m lazy but I also work super hard. It’s always a conundrum.

6) It doesn’t matter what kind of rotten mood I’m in — get me cooking in the kitchen or gardening in the backyard, and pretty soon I’m humming and smiling.

7) I would be lost without Steve and the kids. I like to have company around all the time, but you know they’re my 3 favorites ;) (This is why I love working in a school — there’s always someone around to keep things interesting.) “I keep my friends around/so I have someone to talk to” — Beastie Boys

There, finally wrote it, wooooooooooooooot! Now I’m passing it along to Miss Zoot, Planet Nomad, Vixen, Funsize, Nan, Y from the Internet and………. Recovering Straight Girl. That’s 7, up!

Happy weekend, y’all. It took its sweet time getting here, didn’t it?

— wm

* my students. I don’t write about them that often, because they need their privacy. They’re kids, and they’re not “my” kids (even though I possessively, constantly call them “my” students). from the daily hello’s to the drop-ins, from the “i love you” notes in my desk to the way they’ve changed, grown, blown my mind in the two years I’ve known them… they are the best.

* I don’t think any of them read this blog (they rarely read my library blog, even though I keep shoving the url at them), but if they do happen to stop by… I’ll miss you guys, you are great kids. They tell me, You are the best librarian, and all I can say is, With students like you, it’s easy to be good at my job.

* okay, enough, i’m getting all bummed out now.

* i may or may not land a gig next year, who knows. “it is what it is” — anon.

* i’ve been loving all the nature out in our new neighborhood — the greenspaces, parks, frogs, green, green, green, snakes and tons of flowers, trees, flora and fauna. i feel bad i’ve been slamming on the west side for so long. it’s alright out here.

* i tried to make dinner tonight. I really did, i swear to you. you know i’m trying to be better about that, and not giving up and getting pizza 3 nights out of 7.

* But there was a meeting after school, and I spaced and forgot my phone and had to fetch it, so by the time we got home, it was later than usual, and blood sugar was low. It was a hit/miss thing, dinner. Hit: Fed the kids in courses — baby carrots, apples, crackers (what are they, horses?), yogurt and… they didn’t want what we were having, frozen roasted vegetable lasagna (store-bought), and Texas burgers. (Amy’s for both of those items.) Miss: everything else. Oh, wait — the big bowl full of sugared, sliced strawberries was a hit.

* the kids opted for cereal. not hot oatmeal (breakfast for dinner = yes, let’s do that). smart kids. the lasagna was awful, but the Texas burgers were good, once I doctored them up with relish and mango chutney. i would do breakfast for dinner more, but they don’t eat bacon. or fake bacon. sausage. or fake sausage. it’s waffles or pancakes or nuthin’ around here, and Steve usually fixes those on the weekends so…

* red wine was good, at least ;)

now steve’s making music and i’m getting ready for a shower and bed. end of the school year has got me by the throat, but that’s okay.

xo

wm

i just spent an hour on the floor of my closet re-reading old journals because some of you must go, okay? I just don’t know which ones.

These are the times when I find being a writer to be just… miserable. Writing = more navel-gazing and misery.

What did I find? A whole lot of nothing. I’m telling you. A lot of ranting about what a witch my boss was (she really was. whenever I stayed home sick she would call me mid-day to whimper in my ear, ask me where things were on her desk, and to tell me to come to work), a few sexy descriptions (which are now shredded — nothing I’d want to lift for fiction, just some random sexiness) (no, my kids don’t need to read that crap, after I’m gone) (note to self: stop writing about sex), and speaking of… pages and pages devoted to how it really was going to work out with Mr. Wrong this time, I mean it, Diary! etc. And two good quotes (neither of them from me, shocker I know):

“I pierce you with the ack-ack of love, flowerpot.” — Pepe Le Pew
(from the cartoon “Two Scent’s Worth — 1955)

and…

“I wept because I have lost my pain and am not yet accustomed to its absence. …” — Anais Nin

OK, the hour was worth it.

Steve’s blogs are having their birthdays this month, too. (Go tell him to write about peace on his blog, would you? Tell him to give peace a chance.) (Again.)

Would you like some February “greatest hits” from over the years? Sure, why not?

Feb. 2005

Feb. 2006

Feb. 2007

Feb. 2008

Feb. 2009

Bon appetit!

— wm