Yeah, that’s not it. Why? Cuz I don’t believe I saw any hockey in that clip. We (heart) hockey. Hawkeytown!

(ps — it really is pretty here, isn’t it? It’s raining right now — poured so hard last night that it woke me up. I had to close all the windows! Everything was blowing. Really gorgeous now — the garden and flowers are so lush and green.)

(have a good weekend, y’all.)

xo

wm

She butters the top of the omelet. That’s right. To make it shiny. I love Julia Child.

Went for sushi, then saw the film “Julie & Julia” today (I know, I know, sushi is not French, yet it is tasty). Fun movie, I liked it. Streep and Stanley Tucci were wonderful, of course. I don’t think Nora Ephron has ever made a movie or a book I didn’t like. (My favorites, in no particular order: “Crazy Salad,” “Silkwood,” “I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman” and “When Harry Met Sally…”)

The reviews all say something along the lines of, Oh, Meryl’s wonderful but eh, they could have done without Julie’s character. A blogger who is peevish, looking for inspiration with her cooking, and doesn’t always agree with her husband? Yeah, I can’t relate to that at all. hahahaha. I liked both plot lines — thought they were woven together well. I read the Julie/Julia Project sometimes when Julie Powell was writing it. Was glad she got a book deal. Was not so glad to hear that her second book details the affair she had after the first book was published. Eh, it’s not my life. But if you want to sleep with someone other than your husband? Don’t be married.

It’s our anniversary this weekend — can’t say what I’m giving Steve for a present, cuz it’s a surprise. But I think he’ll like it. My sister, the bride-to-be, informs me that eleventh anniversary is steel and jewelry. I’ll get myself some drill bits and get him some jewelry. Good? I won’t be getting myself a boyfriend for a gift, that’s for sure. What kind of lousy present is that? Also, nothing from here. Aroooooo… That’s what I’d really like to give him for an anniversary present — two wiener dogs. The bad thing about wiener dogs: Sometimes they get too nippy. Also they go “pee-pee” a lot. The good thing about wiener dogs: You get to say the word “wiener” all the time and make a lot of “wiener” jokes. That’s kinda fun.

Perhaps Steve wouldn’t like a doggy. Perhaps he would like a goose? Not that kind, the feathered kind. Sure he would! Happy anniversary, Steve. Eleven big years and I love you more every day.

“Never thought about divorce. Thought about murder plenty, but not divorce.” — my late, dear Granny, on the secret to her and my Grandpa’s marital success.

Why didn’t she remarry? “I had the best, honey. Why mess with the rest?”

True, that. Steve, I love you. Thanks for always loving me back.

Hmm. I like pets. I just don’t like their owners, sometimes. That’s all.

(Happy birthday to Wacky Cousin 3.0, we love you, kid. Hope you get to eat as many cupcakes as you want. And a big ol’ happy birthday to my little girl. If I had it my way, sweets, I’d get you three border collies. Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!! Hugs and love and kisses.)

Yeah, no one here will talk about it, for fear of offending someone’s “dog child,” but at least the New York Times dared to tackle the subject. Dogs are a frickin’ problem in Portland. They. Poop. All. OVER THE PLACE. Your dog does not have the same rights as my child, savvy? Besides, my kids are potty-trained and have been for quite some time. Your dog will never be potty-trained. Maybe you can train your pet bunny to use the commode, but the puppy-wuppy? Lost cause. Your dog is not your “child.” You did not birth that furry little poop machine. I know you love him. I know you “adopted” him. But it’s just different.

Aroooooooooooooooooooooooo! You know when I really went all postal on this? When we shared a duplex with a housemate who 1) refused to keep her large dog off the roof that was above our unit (she climbed out through the window and howled at the moon) (and the dog followed suit) 2) never “picked up” after said dog 3) boycotted mowing the grass.

“It is her birthright to have the yard!” (Landlord said we would “share” the yard. Haha to that.)

“Won’t all of the poo just decompose?”

Oh. Dear God. She was a trendsetter! This was ten years ago, but it was the beginning of the end as far as I’m concerned. Dogville, USA ever since then.

The newest trend? Take your doggy grocery shopping. Fun!

My favorite quote from the NYT story: “‘Usually they’ll hold off and not make a complaint until they’ve seen a dog urinate in the grocery store or jump up and try to swipe a pack of meat,’ said Vance Bybee, the head of the food safety division. ‘Or they’ve seen dogs pooping in the aisle, that sort of thing.’

‘That sort of puts them over the edge,’ Mr. Bybee said.”

Imagine.

I’m starting a new feature here at Chez Wacky — it’s called “Can Someone Please Explain This Wacky Recipe to Me?” Lelo? You’re the pie expert — get over here! (Nice feature they did on the Pie Contest in Thee O, by the by.)

FRIED PIE CRUST

3 cups plain flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. soda
1 pinch salt
1/3 cup shortening
1 egg
1 cup buttermilk
4 quarts peaches, cut up (canned or frozen)
3-4 cups sugar
1 cup vinegar

Mix peaches, sugar and vinegar and cook until very thick or consistency of peach preserves. Pour in hot pint jars while mixture is boiling and seal. Deep fat fry.

I’m thinking those jars are going to EXPLODE LIKE MOFOs if you deep fat fry ’em. Just sayin’. Safety first and all. OK, this next one sounds do-able. I think my MamaToo just made this recently. (She has a recipe for Chocolate Zucchini Cookies on her blog.) My friends, you cannot go wrong if you add Cool Whip to it. I love reading through my aunties’ and grandma’s cookbooks. “Add frozen lemonade right from the freezer.” (These recipes came from a church cookbook I love — Goodness pure & SIMPLE is the title.) (Of the cookbook, not the church.) How about…

FROZEN LEMONADE PIE

1 graham cracker crust
1 can Eagle Brand milk
1 small can frozen lemonade
1 9 oz. container Cool Whip

Chill milk. Beat well. Add frozen lemonade right from freezer. Beat until real thick. Fold in Cool Whip. Pour into crust. Refrigerate for about 1 hour. Will keep for a week. If using store bought crusts, recipe makes 2 small pies.

Sleeping with the windows open, a nice breeze blowing through, the sounds of the cars, the bus, the MAX train, the dogs barking in chorus, the neighbor’s doberman/rotti beast throwing himself THUNK against her front door and barking maniacally every blessed time someone walks by, the train whistles from the other trains, the cats fighting, drunken fights or sometimes just loud conversations (“She said it was mine! And I believed her!” “Dude.”) as the guys walk home from the bar, the neighbors drunk in their yard (“YAHTZEE!”), car doors slamming, someone serenading us with an acoustic version of “Sweet Home Alabama” on the sidewalk outside our bedroom window…

Perfect.

Is it any surprise that this was my Dad’s favorite movie? This could be the theme movie for my entire family. It was his best friend’s favorite movie, too. It happens to be one of my favorites, too, but not for the same reasons as theirs.

Happy Sunday!

xo

wm

The neighbor kid was just listening to Van Halen out in his driveway and I was cracking up laughing over here. Then he cranked “Stairway to Heaven.” It’s 1980 all over again.

Yeah, Eddie and Diamond Dave were always all lovey-dovey like that. Except when they were trying to strangle each other. A few thoughts:

1) Why did my sister and I feel compelled to wait 12 hours outside the Memorial Coliseum so we could get great seats for Van Halen? We ended up with okay seats, as I recall. And I ended up with a diamond-shaped sunburn on my back. I had this sexy blue sundress with a diamond pattern cut out of the back. Cuz I was “all that.” Ha.

2) Aren’t you glad for me that when I walked to the store, and happened to walk by the hotel where the freaks, aka VH, were staying, when Dave waved me over like, c’mon, c’mon, I just kept on walking? Girls were diving under the fence. Seriously. David Lee Roth and some of his crew, aka the bozos, were out by the pool. There was a chain link fence around it, bent in one corner. He was wearing those goddawful yellow and black bumble bee pants and holding up the fence so the girls could scoot under. Dave, I was jailbait. You were gross. Thanks, anywho!

3) My then-boyfriend, who was from Des Moines, not Iowa City, so he was nowhere near as cool as my later-husband, who I am happy to say is my now-husband, Steve… That sentence is too long, I’ll start over. He and his sister were the biggest rockers, I guess they just live for rock ‘n’ roll in Death Moans. When the album “Women and Children First” came out, Mr. Death Moans thought it was the rockingest album in the rockin’ world and listened to it approximately 7,454 times in the first month he owned it. He was staying with his dad, who was also a rocker. He introduced me to the fine musical stylings of Toots & the Maytals, and for that I will thank him. Well. I would thank him, but he’s dead. We drank grape Kool-aid mixed with Thunderbird at his wake, it was fitting.

He was a rocker, a father, and a painter. He only copied other people’s paintings, that was his thing. Like this one. That was his biggest hit painting. He told my then-boyfriend, “When your mom calls from Iowa to check on you, I’m going to be all,” (mimics screaming into the phone), “HAVE YOU SEEN JUNIOR’S GRADES!” Then he laughed maniacally. Rest in peace, my friend. It was good to know you.

4) Here are some interesting Wiki-facts for you:

“This is the first Van Halen album to feature all original band compositions. The opening track, “And the Cradle Will Rock…”, begins with what sounds like guitar chords, but is, in fact, a phase shifter-effected Wurlitzer electric piano played through Van Halen’s 1960’s model 100-watt Marshall Plexi amplifier.

“Could This Be Magic?” contains the only female backing vocal ever recorded for a Van Halen song — Nicolette Larson sings during some of the choruses. The rain sound in the background is not an effect. It was raining outside, and they decided to record the sound in stereo using 2 Neuman KM84 microphones, and add it to the track.”

4) Hmm. I don’t know, really, where I’m going with this. It’s just when it’s a hot summer day, and the kid next door is rocking out so hard, and here comes your youth, slappin’ ya upside the head… while you have a kid who’s been throwing up all day and summer is coming to an end… what can you do but smile? Life is a trip. I’m glad I married the other Iowa boy, not the VH fan. No offense to him, it just was not meant to be. Nor was “A Night with Diamond Dave.” hahahahahahahahaha.

Any concert stories, y’all? Brushes with fame? You know I love ’em.

xo

wm

1) My new little cousin, all nine pounds five ounces of her, who was born last night at 10:44 p.m. Welcome to the world, baby girl!

2) My mom

3) My dad

4) All four of my grandparents

5) Hockey God

6) Sherman Alexie

7) Jimi Hendrix

8) Billy Jack

9) Marge Piercy

10) Paul Newman

11) Sylvia Plath

12) Alex Trebek

13) My cousin T

14) My favorite teachers in grade school, Ms. Howard and Mr. McGraw

15) My great-aunties who always cheated at cards

16) My co-worker B, who told me, It’s not that hard. Don’t date the assholes, just date the nice guys… and…

17) …last, but never ever least, Zip.

Debi, we love ya, Debi! Go, go, go!