Go learn some new words and donate rice at the same time.

(Thanks, Wacky Cousin, who found this one.)

Dearest Thursday Thirteeners and Usual Suspects,

In honor of the writers’ strike (dudes, good luck with negotiations), I’m listing out my 13 favorite shows this season (or should I say, my favorite shows I’ll be missing soon) (yes, I’m already jonesin’, but I just now finally finished up the last ever final season of “The Sopranos,” IT WAS SO GOOD, go get it on DVD if you haven’t caught it by now. Anyway. The Sopranos eased my couch potato pain). My other favorites are (drum roll, please!):

13) Friday Night Lights: I’m late to the game (ha! Sports joke, get it?) on this one, but this is a great show. I’m enjoying getting to know all the characters.

12) Las Vegas: Even with James Caan gone. Josh Duhamel is a long-time favorite of mine, and Hockey God loves Delinda Deline. Or Delinda Delicious Delightful Deline, as he calls her. So yummy, all the eye candy on this one. You can look at the menu, you just can’t order. And Sam! Vanessa Marcil from GH! I love her so. Which leads me to…

11) Eye Candy, Part II: General Hospital

10) Eye Candy, Part III: Grey’s Anatomy

9) Eye Candy, Part IV: Private Practice (I’m including this one just because of Taye Diggs and Taye Diggs alone. I’m not really that into the show. But Brothers and Sisters? I’ll watch that until they air the final episode.)

8) Dirty Sexy Money: The title says it all. Peter Krause plays it so straight against the high drama of the Darlings. Like Brothers and Sisters (which includes a character played by Rachel Griffiths, Peter Krause’s love on Six Feet Under), really good ensemble cast.

7) The Office. I never thought I’d get as addicted to this show as I have — I am a dweeb about it. I will watch the same episode eight times, it’s a little bizarre. My kids adore it (I’ve only let them watch a few kid-appropriate episodes, don’t worry). Wacky Girl spent the first 15 minutes of Evan Almighty yelling, “IT’S MICHAEL FROM THE OFFICE!” at the movie screen and almost got us kicked out of the theater. Honestly, I thought the Office was goofy as hell the whole first season. And yes, I tried watching the British version, first. Couldn’t get into it. I didn’t think it was funny at all! But now — I’m hooked. Only they’re gone. No Christmas episode!!!! No other episodes ’til after the strike! Yikes.

6) Boston Legal. Denny Crane. “Trixs are for kids,” “Cuckoo for cocoa puffs,” “Still cuckoo for cocoa puffs.” Still cuckoo for Denny. And whoever thought I’d grow to love James Spader? Will wonders never ever cease?

5) Any home improvement shows. (Blame it on my kids.)

4) Jacob Two-Two (Again. The kids.)

3) Martha Stewart, because she drinks waaaaaaaaaaaay more than I do, and she invented the killer Bloody Mary recipe of all time. (This one only calls for four ounces of vodka — I wrote down a cup on my copy. Was it her? Or me?)

2) Desperate Housewives, sorta. (I’ll give the girls a half-vote.) So, I’ll add Jeopardy! right here, because I am that good at Jeopardy! I kick serious butt at Jeopardy! I’m not kidding, Internets. I would whup ya at Jeopardy!

1) The Simpsons, always.

It is Wednesday, y’all, and that means NO ARGUING WITH ASSCLOWNS ON THE INTERNET.

You heard it here first. If you’re in, send me an e-mail or leave a note in comments and I’ll add you. (Still working on NAWACOTID site. It will be up… at some point.)

Smooches,

WM

Do you think I should run for Mayor?

I do.

I’m eating handfuls of Hershey Kisses, as I am wont to do, and I stop to read the little labels, because I’ve suddenly noticed that they don’t say (as they should) Hershey Kiss. Instead, they say:

Oops

I miss you!

We should go out!

I hate Mondays

and…

I (Heart) Satan.

(Not really, on that last one, but that’s what I expected.)

…am still writing fiction. Who knew I could finish chapter after chapter? How many chapters should it have? Twenty-four? Twenty-seven? How long do you like your novels to be? I like mine around 275 pages. What is the word count on 275 pages? One hundred thousand? I think that’s around what I have. This is better than knitting. It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for my entire life, Internets.

Truly though, what I’m doing is cleaning up and revising chapters I wrote ages ago. Some I have no idea when or where. I’ve come across a few new characters — characters I made up and do not remember at all, mind you — and it’s kinda fun — like meeting someone for the first time. Maybe those were some 4 a.m. creations? No idea.

I got through three drafts of this novel, tore it to shreds to start a fourth draft, then flung it across the room. (Not really — but I did click “save” on the file and didn’t re-open it.)

Leave me a note, would ya? I want to know what everyone’s up to out there. It’s storming like mad here. We’ve had an unusual amount of rain and wind here in the Pacific Northwest. And wish my mother-in-law luck — she’s flying back to Denver tomorrow.

WM

“A real book is not one that we read, but one that reads us.”

— W.H. Auden, poet (1907-1973)

Just learned of this event, from alert reader Anne…

Radical Book Fair
Sunday December 2nd
11 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Liberty Hall
311 N. Ivy (just North of Fremont and Williams)

Sponsored by Portland IWW (International Workers of the World) and Glaberman Library
Rumor has it that there will be a puppet show at 3 p.m.
Childcare available.

I have lots of little quirks, when it comes to writing fiction. (My family, in the background, “HA. HA. Ha!”)

Blog posts are a whole different animal — they strike when they strike. It doesn’t matter if a cat is on my desk, drinking my coffee, or if he’s yowling out the window at birds (that would be Wacky Cat 3). The kids can be fighting and wrestling at my feet, I can be talking with my Mom, Zip or the insurance company on the phone, it does not matter. Have blog, will post.

But when I’m writing fiction, I have to do things in a certain order.

* First, I have to vacuum and dust my entire office. (Done. This is why it’s awesome to have several days in a row to write.)

* All clutter and paperwork have to be out of my sight.

* I have to eat really simple food — sandwiches, a bowl of soup, pieces of fruit, an entire bag of Hershey kisses — because this is not cooking time, this is writing time.

* I keep a jug of water and a glass next to me, so I don’t have to leave my office. (I love my office, I mean it. Three windows, a glass door to the backyard, so I can keep an eye on the kids when they’re playing. Why am I moving? Can I keep the office?)

* I cannot pay bills, fold laundry, any of that, or else I’m derailed.

* I have to have a cup of tea. Preferably English breakfast with three splashes of milk. Or an entire pot of coffee. (Will settle today for my alloted cup.)

* The phone cannot ring. If it does, I tell whoever it is (unless it’s an agent or editor, or another writer who is looking for excuses not to write — sometimes I will play, other times I won’t) “Gotta go, writing.” Then I hang up. They’re all used to this. At least, I hope no one’s feelings get hurt. I have become my grandmother — dad’s mom. She was queen of saying, “OK, then.” (click.)

* I have to have some music on, but it has to be just the right music, at the right level. Not too quiet, not too loud.

* Blog posts have to be wrapped up tight.

Gotta go, writing.

happy Saturday, y’all.

Nancy

* I’m listening to Tracy Chapman’s version of, “3 Little Birds,” Van Morrison, “How Long Has This Been Going On,” and Elvis Costello, “Every Day I Write the Book.”

* Just talked with Planet Nomad; they are back from California safe and sound, studying French and enjoying the rain.

* Hockey God and my mother-in-law just ran the kids to school. She’s here for four days which means… I GET TO WRITE WHILE SHE AND MY HUSBAND, HER SON, WATCH THE KIDS.

* My kids are blessed, blessed and extremely spoiled rotten by four grandparents (3 grandmas and 1 grandpa) who are all playful, talented, and good-looking, to boot. (The blue eyes, the kooky mannerisms, the musical obsessions, the love of books — they get all of it from their grandparents.) Before school, Wacky Boy and Grandma were playing with transformers.

Her: “Look! This one turns into a guy, then back into a car, then back into a guy again!”

Wacky Boy, eyes shining and looking at her adoringly: “YES.”

She also admired the “fossils” that the kids made for her out of plaster-of-paris and seashells. Tonight we’re having dinner with my mom and sister. In the meantime…

* …I write. More fiction.

* Hey, is NoPoMoFoMamaLamaDingDong over today? It was fun.

Happy Friday, yins.

WM