Go look at this blog right now.

Go Fug Yourself

Enough about the school district, school closures, recipes, how-to’s, product and book reviews (I have a backlog that I still am not reviewing anytime soon, but will someday, sorry), the remodeling, the kids who will just not stop screaming and whining (hmm — wonder who they get that from?), etc. OK, I will say one thing, cuz I know the anticipation has been killing you — THE TILE IS ALL DONE! I EVEN TOOK PICTURES TO POST! But I can’t because I am just too toasted. So deal. Also, the tile guy is so nice and now hates my neighbor more than I do. Cuz her yard stinks. And she stinks. And she was rude to him. My tile guy, who is pulling this whole long, sad, way overdue project together and ta-da!

Don’t be rude to my tile guy, damn, what the hell is wrong with you, Neighbor from Hell?

(PS — Not Naked Neighbor, I mean the one who helped extricate me from The Mess. And was this a bonding experience for us? It was for me, but not her, apparently, cuz she bitched me out up one side/down the other two days later??? Shut up, WitchyPoo! I was feeling all sentimental toward you.)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HER AND HER STINKY BARNYARD BACKYARD AND HER IDIOT DOG WHO FRICKIN’ NEVER STOPS YAPPING AND HER XMAS TREE WHICH IS, YES, STILL IN THE DRIVEWAY. It’s April, savvy?

This is all about me, me, me and my hideous sinus infection and the “course of steroids and antibiotics” that I am now taking to avoid pneumonia. For the second time. I just went through this in February. Yes, it’s not enough that I get a sinus infection that makes me ache and cry and feel swollen and unable to breathe. It moves right down the nasal passages into my lungs and voila! Bronchitis, then bronchial pneumonia.

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Ahem. These are but a few of the searches people have used, thus finding me, Wacky Mommy, Writer at Large:

guinea pigs and pinkeye (funny — we just had pinkeye here again…)
booty coverings
horrid gory pictures (because, like, you find sooooooo many pictures on my blog)
sean croghan email
michael corinthos is kidnapping (a General Hospital reference)
because i said so shirt
i make milk, what’s your superpower?
how long does it take to vacuum a house (don’t ask me!)
sexy mommy with big ass (thank you!)
dirty thieves
tom and katie freak baby
voluptuous housewives (thank you again!)
cybill shepherd breasts
p diddy mac and cheese

(and, last but not least…)

*how much does it really cost: remodelling / repair.* (baby, don’t ask. There is tile ON THE FLOOR in the bathroom and tile ON THE WALL in the shower and NO IT’S NOT DONE, BUT ALMOST. You know who finally fixed the messed-up framing in the shower? No, not the one framer who came out here twice or the other framer who came out here twice. That’s right — the tile guy. He finally straightened it out because there was nothing standing between him and getting the g.d. tile installed. And the TRIKE THAT SAVED MY LEGS is now parked in the yard, in all its glory.)

I’m admiring the floor tiles right now. Terra cotta, with a hint of blue kind of splashed across. They go nicely with the almond tiles for the shower. (It’ll have two stripes of cobalt blue, to accent. One stripe is a third of the way up the shower wall, and the second is another third of the way up from that.) They’re all in my office, the tiles. Along with the toilet, now dubbed Office Space Toilet. The floor guy could not bring in the hideous backer board from the front porch, or even start on the tile, cuz they had to start from scratch again.

On the dry rot on the bathroom floor.

On re-re-framing the shower. (We do it nice, cuz we do it thrice?)

So here I wait, with the toilet, and the tiles, for the tile guy to come by again.

Auf wienerschnitzel.

The monkeys just can’t help it. (Thanks for this, Wacky M.)

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

— Thornton Wilder

From Hockey God:

Greens and Spuds

* Heat oil in pan

* Add 1 T black mustard seed, cook until they start snapping

* Add 1/2 T turmeric, salt and pepper, onions and garlic, saute

* Dice potatoes and rinse, add to saute

* Dice greens (we like collard best, but others are fine, too), add to saute with water to prevent sticking and to make a little sauce

* Cook until greens and spuds are tender (20-30 minutes), adding water as necessary

* Add dash of lemon or lime juice and coriander (about 1 T), cook for another 5 minutes

* Garnish with fresh chopped cilantro and serve over rice

* Serve with love

From CNN: “The Tom Cruise birthing seminar: ‘A fun game of learning,’ says actor”

Here you go. Would really, really love to do an episiotomy on this fuckhead.

On another note: The Easter Bunny came by — we’re all having chocolate hangovers now. Wacky Girl made signs that said “This way” with arrows drawn below, and posted them around the house, pointing to the baskets on the table.

Wacky Boy was serenading us last night: “What are you doing/to make me haaaaaaaapy?” OMG. Uh, devoting my life to you?

Dear Wacky Mommy,

Okay, I am so effing bored at work that it may just kill me. There are only so many interesting blogs, and frankly I get to feeling guilty after a few hours of internet surfing. What’s a girl to do when her job just does not keep her entertained?

Signed,

Slacker Girl

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Ha! Hockey God is killing me. Check out his Rules for Ex-Girlfriends.

And, because I am able to post about dorks, menus, and my husband’s ex’s on the same day, here’s a good easy soup…

Squash Soup

1 large or 2 medium orange or yellow squash
1 large red onion
garlic cloves (as many as you can handle; I usually go for six)
1 quart vegetable broth
1 tsp. rosemary
1/2 tsp. salt
ground pepper, to taste

Bake squash, let cool, scoop out and puree with vegetable broth in small batches in blender. Add water or more broth as needed.

Saute onion and garlic in a big stockpot, add squash and rosemary, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then simmer until dinner’s ready. Serve plain, or with sour cream, plain yogurt or cottage cheese and croutons.

Bon appetit, Mamas!