World’s Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, “Will you marry me?”
The guy said, “No.”
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, and never had to cook.
The end.
(My version: I bought a Kate Spade handbag tonight. It’s gorgeous. The end. WM)
quote of the hour (I just heard Bush speak on NPR, comparing Iraq with World War Two):
“War would end if the dead could return.”
— Stanley Baldwin, statesman (1867-1947)
all week in the rain.
WM
“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
— Anton Chekhov, short-story writer and dramatist (1860-1904)
Dear Wacky Mommy:
My nails keep breaking. They�ve been weak for months and months now! But if I wear polish, everyone will assume I don�t pray. (Long story�) Should I get a henna and deal with orange nails till well into 2006?
Love,
Weak Nails, Strong Teeth
Me, “The Phone Talkin’ Redhead,” as my Uncle R in in Tennessee fondly nicknamed me, yes, Wacky Mommy has met her match in Wacky Boy.
WB, on “Finding Nemo”: “How do those divers get in and out of the fishtank, huh? Mommy! How would they do that? What if the divers were swimming around, then they growed bigger and bigger, then they would just break the fish tank! And then, and then, and then, they would all they would get so wet, all the fishes would get so wet, too! Everything would get wet, even the floor!” Oh, he loves “Finding Nemo.”
If you don’t answer his questions (and with a lot of his questions, honestly, I have not the words…) you get this: “Mommy! Mommy!!! Did you hear me, Mommy! The divers, what if…”
I love these pumpkins of mine.
“The biggest myth about Southern women is that we are frail types — fainting on our sofas — nobody where I grew up every acted like that. We were about as fragile as coal trucks.”
–Lee Smith
Go see “Walk the Line,” it rocks. June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash, you’re living forever in our hearts.
A paragraph from an e-mail I just received from Wacky Mommy B in West Africa. She and her husband (they’re formerly from Oregon) are living there with their three children, experiencing the carefree life of living abroad, teaching English, taking photographs, and writing. I’ve decided I don’t mind the cool Oregon weather so much, after reading this.
love,
WM
“Well I�m tired. It�s hot. Did I mention the heat? It�s no longer the hot season — our house is no longer inundated with cockroaches (although we do have dragonflies now), and it cools off at night and the heat is drier so much more bearable. But today the sun was like a hammer. It was 104. Of course, it usually is, but today it was 104 for much longer, and the night is not bringing those cool ocean breezes mentioned in the brochure.”
Dear Wacky Mommy:
My husband sleeps until all hours of the day. He sleeps too damn much. How do I get him to not sleep so much? He says sex will help, tit for tat or something, I say forget it.
Help?
Signed,
No Sex for Sleep-In
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