When’s the last time I wrote a Thursday Thirteen, anyway? Ah, well. And it hasn’t been a “real” year of teaching, it’s only been a few months. If you will recall, dear readers, as of last September we were considering moving across town. Changed our minds, unpacked the cartons, and I got myself a job at our neighborhood school. I’m working in the library, and how I got there is a kind of long story, so I’ll cut to the chase. Here is what I’ve found out in the last few months: (more…)

Do you ever, those of you who are parents, wonder if you’re traumatizing your children? (If you’re not a parent, substitute “co-workers” or “pets” for “children.”)

I, myself, never wonder. Because I know it. I know that every single day I am trying, and failing, to not traumatize my children. (more…)

I was named Awesome Community Member of the Universe on Friday night. Don’t get excited — they gave awards to a whole gaggle of people from the community, not just me. Also, they mispronounced my last name. Because I’m so Cool and Important. That was a little awkward, but whatever. I was still excited anyway because I so love to get attention and free appetizers. And I was a little jealous because the students being honored received the most ginormous trophies, the kind with the huge loving cups on top. (I got a fancy paperweight. Which is cool, but not a loving cup.) (more…)

“The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.”

— Anatole France, novelist, essayist, Nobel laureate (1844-1924)

PS — whoops, our sites were down all night, apparently. They were tired! Up and running now, sorry for any inconveniences you may have experienced. Here’s a funny clip for you to make up for it.

If you ask my Grandma the secret to her long life (she’ll turn 88 next month) she says (and I’m quoting here):

“I get up off of my butt.”

I love this. Thanks to Ms. Zip for sending it along.

No, you really don’t. Believe me. It involves me getting a migraine and throwing up, then getting over it, going to work and trying to wrap up end of year at two schools (no, three) the two where I work, and the one my children attend. I have two offices at my schools and one at home and they are all three a mess.

A big ol’ mess.

Also, I could use a spa day.

The rest of my time revolves around my obsession/love for Friday Night Lights (Season Two, Now on DVD!) and the Wire (Season Three, scary as hell) and learning to play tennis and being so frustrated because goddamn — how do those pros do it? Tennis is hard. Keeping your eye on the ball is extraordinarily hard. But a good work-out for sure so that is cool.

Also, tennis makes me think of John McEnroe which makes me think of Tatum O’Neal and now, a brief letter to Tatum O’Neal, in regards to her recent arrest for a crack-cocaine purchase in New York City:

Dear Tatum,

love,
wm

Also, why do children “turn up the whine” end of May/beginning of June and then become relentless mosquitoes buzzing until September? All children, not just mine. Why?

Also, a lot of my time is now spent on Wacky Cat 3, who is such a handsome tuxedo-clad boy, but is such a big thug. He non-stop pounds and chews and claws my two older cats. Bad boy, Wacky Cat 3! Out he goes. Then he cries and promises he’ll behave. Comes in, gets a nibble to eat, and starts pounding the shit out of the older cats again.

Internet, can this family get some help, please? Tatum is not the only one having issues here. (Hey! Leave her some love notes in comments, why don’t you? Maybe she’ll stop by and see them.)

See? I told you. Dullsville, U.S.A. Prey for us, wouldja?

love,

wm

Another meme???? I love you, memes. Me me me. Vixen started it.

Here are the rules:
1. Each player answers questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, tag 5 people by posting their names.
3. Go to their site/blog and leave a comment telling them they’ve been tagged. Invite them to your site/blog so they can read the tagged post.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve completed your tagged post.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Falling in love with my husband. Planning our wedding. Quitting the job I’d had for eight years to freefall into what I did not know. (It all worked out okay.)

2. What are 5 things on your “To Do” list?
a. Take out the recycling
b. Get rid of all the paperwork piled up on the tables and counters around here.
c. Do the damn laundry.
d. Dishes?
e. Make a real “to do” list that isn’t just basic maintenance. (ie — Go to Rome. Get a book published. etc.)

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy? (In no specific order)
Brownies, Hav’ a Chips, guacamole, popcorn with M&Ms poured in the bowl, tamari almonds.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Pay for librarians for a few schools. Buy food for a bunch of people who needed it. That would take care of the million. Is it more than one million? If I was a 3 millionaire, I’d buy myself a ’64 Impala and a garage to keep it in, pay off the bills, and pay off the mortgages for my family. Um. I think that would add up to 5 million.

5. Name some places where you’ve lived.
Manhattan, Vancouver, Wash., SE, NE, SW, North Portland.

6. Name some bad habits you have.
I fucking hate FaceBook and MySpace and all that and if someone suggests I blog over there I ask them “Are you fucking nuts? Those places do not even count as blogs. They’re like, all purple disco lights and flashy and that is not writing, how is that even creative???” etc. This is kind of obnoxious, when I get like this. Also, when one of the moms at school told me how much she loves MySpace because you can go back in and delete your old comments (is this true, MySpacers?) I was like, Fuck that. You write it here, I own it. But if you e me and say, Uh, I didn’t mean to say I was going to beat up my husband’s ex-wife, I was only teasing! then of course I will delete your comment.

7. Name some jobs you’ve had.
Um. Soda jerk, waitress, Avon salesperson, journalist, social worker, facer. You know what a facer is? The person who turns everything face out on the grocery shelves. It was kinda fun, but kinda mind-numbing at the same time. That is when I had the experience of dropping a stuffed toy tomato, a plushy toy, on its face, and it said, “Jesus loves you just the way you are.” I knew then I had to quit that job, cuz that was some scary shit, right there.

(Thus was my introduction to Veggie Tales.)

8. Name those whom you are tagging.
I’ll steal Vixen’s line: You. And you. And you hiding over there, behind the wall. You are it. (Plus Zip, Planet Nomad, Under Construction, Lelo and RSG.)

“Charlie bit me!”