“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
— Mark Twain

More later — am on Crazy Soccer & Eating Schedule that makes it impossible for us to get to bed at a reasonable hour and has left me and the kids snarling, sleepy and hungry. And ill-clothed. Sometimes when a woman wears a black push-up bra under her husband’s Bad Monkey T-shirt to soccer practice, it isn’t in an attempt to be sexy (ha!). A la Kelly Lynch in “Drugstore Cowboy,” wearing a black bra under a white lacy top, for example.

No, it’s because WM has only two brassieres (a bre, my Auntie H calls it) and can’t find one of them. I am so freaking tired and dehydrated. Thus I will drink more coffee. I may work out this morning. I will rehydrate in pool. I will ignore Skeezy Hot Tub Guys who stare at the women in water aerobics.

Coach Wacky Daddy is on sked, as always. I will attempt to follow his lead. Wacky Girl is peeved cuz she doesn’t get to sit with the second-graders at lunchtime. “They made us sit with the kinders!” Oh, the indignity of public schools.

love,

WM

I’m taking the kids to the library, then to the vet (to pick up meds for cats and dog, not for the kids, fyi), then to the outdoor pool to swim and splash.

Just in case ya’ll were wondering what the Wacky Family is up to today.

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I was on vacation so long that I forgot my login! Ha. Also, apparently the server was down and I didn’t notice for four days or something. I was on vacation, it’s allowed!

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Check it out…

Pixieland!

http://pdxhistory.com/

I swiped this from the PTA newsletter — awesome list of books.

Teachers’ Fifty Favorite Children’s Books
 

1. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White (9-12 years)

 
2. The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg (4-8 years)

 
3. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss (4-8 years)

 
4. The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss (4-8 years)

 
5. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak (4-8 years)

 
6. Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch (4-8 years)

 
7. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein (All ages)

 
8. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle (Baby-Preschool)

 
9. Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls (Young Adult)

 
10. The Mitten by Jan Brett (4-8 years)

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“Put your toothbrush
on your mouth
put your toothbrush
on your mouth
Ask yourself
‘Why is my Mommy so wacky?
Why is my Mommy so wacky?’…”

“Wacky Mommy,” the first song my daughter ever wrote (age 2)

Yes, she was 2 at the time, the child is gifted! What can I say? It’s because of moi. And her dad. My motto for parenthood (and I think you should adopt this one, too):

“All the credit, none of the guilt.”

Because when your kids are acting like neurotic little brats, whose fault is it? That’s right — yours. Cuz you spoil them, freak out when they get injured, let them sleep in your bed, etc. But when they make a good joke, or look adorable, or are obviously Smart and Brilliant, then that has nothing to do with you.

Maybe they’re wearing clothes that match, and haven’t stepped in dog shit that day… then it’s all “Oh, honey, look how cute you are in that little red jacket! You are adorable!” It’s never “You look just like your mommy! I can tell she really spent a lot of time cleaning up your grubby lil face while you wailed!”

I am refusing from here on out to take responsibility for the bullshit my kids pull. This bullshit includes but is not limited to: random nose picking, tantrums at the store, and stating loudly “I’m bored!” when the PTA president is talking during a meeting.

My little darling girl is five, and still a monkey genius. Her brother is the 2-year-old in the house. I am… a writer. A mother. Wife to a hockey player. Living in the Pacific Northwest. Helping plan the school carnival. And dammit, my back is killing me!

This blog will be about mothering, endless PTA meetings, how to handle school politics, re-la-tion-ships (husbands, friends and family), gossip “The spice of life!” as my friend M calls it, and whatever else I feel like. Questions and comments are welcome. I’ll keep it anonymous, to protect the innocent (and guilty).

Happy Valentine’s Day. Off to get more Motrin, and I’ll post tomorrow.