“At this moment, in this election, we can come together and say: ‘Not this time.’ This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children, and white children, and Asian children, and Hispanic children and Native American children.

— U.S. Presidential candidate Barack Obama, in Philadelphia, Pa. at Constitution Center, March 18, 2008

“Mommy, what about me? What am I, the next-door neighbor?”

— one of my friend’s kids, giving her grief

“I’m four and I’m not three anymore!”

Good, because three is just too young to have your own cellphone.

“The Tiger Snake cannot be adopted at this time. Tiger Snake adoptions will begin Thursday, March 6 at 10 am.”

Dammit. I was really wanting to adopt a Tiger Snake right now.

Hockey God, on his high school years: “I stayed out ’til 3 a.m. at a party, and after that my dad gave me a curfew of midnight. Which I thought was ridiculous, because the bars didn’t close until 2.”

me: “You were in high school.”

Hockey God: “Yeah, but the drinking age in Iowa was 19 then. And the third set didn’t start until 11 or 11:30. You wouldn’t want to leave midway through the third set. And all the good college parties were just getting going at midnight.”

me: “My mom tried to set boundaries the end of my senior year — she told me my boyfriend couldn’t stay the night anymore. But by then he’d been sleeping over for a couple of years. So we just started staying the night at his house.”

Hockey God: “See? You wouldn’t have been happy with a midnight curfew, either.”

Our daughter and son will be teenagers in five and eight years, respectively. You know what I’m guessing — they won’t want to leave midway through the third set, either.

Dear, long-lost Thursday 13ers and All You Usual Suspects,

How the heck are you, friends? I’ve been… everywhere, man.

“Done laid around, done stayed around
This old town too long;
Summer’s almost gone, winter’s coming on…”

Oh, wait. Winter’s almost over, it’s almost spring. Whatever, it works for me. What does all of this have to do with Disneyland? Nothing. It’s just — we haven’t talked in awhile. I wanted to catch up. Here’s your list:

13 Things I Must Say Blow Me Away About Disneyland

1) They don’t perform weddings anymore next to the castle. How magical is that? Not very. (My friends C & K got married there — so romantic.)

2) The Electrical Parade rocks just as hard as everyone said it would.

3) My kids love it. Love it for 12 hours straight and want to go back the next day for more love it. They’re kinda cynical, for an 8- and 5-year-old (geesh), but not once did I hear “This is boring.”

4) The Tiki Room? Always a hit with me. I don’t care how dusty those birds are, or how hokey it is. If I could have the Tiki Room attached to my house I would be in seventh heaven. Tiki Heaven. Especially with a Pineapple Whip in hand.

5) Large asses. I have never seen so many large asses in my life. We have photos to prove it. (Like we need to. Ha.) “The Asses of Disneyland: A Series.”

6) Pirates of the Caribbean: Betta than evah.

7) Vodka in frozen lemonade? Well, you can have it if you remember to sneak in a flask.

8) Line for Mickey: Way Too Long. Line for Goofy? Not long at all! But he went on break right as Wacky Girl got to the front of the line. Damn dog. “But he shook my hand, it’s OK! Just didn’t sign my book!” All is forgiven, Goofy.

9) Speaking of Toon Town — my daughter went ga-ga for Toon Town — we had to go back twice. I didn’t expect that.

10) Jungle Cruise: Closed for repairs. It’s A Small World: Also closed for repairs. The looks on everyone’s faces: Priceless. (Those are my two favorite rides, though, so I was a little bummed.)

11) Admission? Let’s not discuss that. Instead let’s talk about Downtown Disney…

12) Build-A-Bear: Yes! Build two!

13) Beignets and cafe au lait at the New Orleans place — always a hit.

More on the trip later… Happy Thursday.

Love,

WM

“Wine for beer?” As in, “drink wine first, then beer”? I don’t know who said this last week, or in what context, but my kids have interpreted the statement as, “Whine for beer.”

Which explains why they’re upstairs giggling right now, saying, “I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed beer! Give me a beeeeeeeer! Why can’t I have beeeeeer?”

Dear God, please let my children grow up to not be boozehounds. Please? Thank you.

WM

Post-a-vista No. 2: Planet Nomad

Planet Nomad, this is everyone. Everyone, this is PLANET NOMAD! (I always want to sing that Duran Duran song — “this is planet earth/ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!!!/this is planet earth…”) There! It’s done. Now we all know each other. (more…)

(If you’re looking for my Thursday Thirteen, check here. I hijacked my husband’s blog.)

And last, but not least… We are selling Girl Scout Cookies this year. Because we are now Girl Scouts. Who knew we’d go to church and (later, and this has nothing to do with church at all) become Girl Scouts? I’m pretty certain that no one saw that one coming.

One minor trifle: Who knew they wanted you to commit to selling 3,000 boxes per Girl Scout? That, to me, spells “unreasonable.” We’ll be able to sell, mebbe, twelve or fourteen boxes? Tops. And those will be to ourselves, most likely, given my cooky addiction.

What kinds of cookies are on offer this year? Lemon Chalet Cremes! (New!), Trefoils (shortbread), Do-Si-Do’s (peanut-buttery), Samoas (not “Samoans.” Gooey coconut! Chocolate!), All Abouts (Celebrating Girl Scouting! These are my favorites. Shortbread and chocolate), Sugar Free Chocolate Chip (the name says it all), Tagalongs (not “Tagalogs” heh heh heh. Wildly Popular!), Thin Mints (Extra Thin, Extra Minty! I take it back — these are my favorites). What about you? I am tempted to load up those USPS boxes, you know the ones? You can pack those suckers full of Girl Scout cookies and mail them out for what, ten bucks apiece?

I do not have that kind of money to throw around, except in my imagination. So you’ll have to find a Girl Scout, if possible, wherever you are. (Nan, any Girl Scouts in Trinidad?)

The following cookies do not exist, except in Zip’s imagination:

1) Chocolate Mint
2) Lemonades
3) Caramel delites
4) Cinna-spins

(What did this make, nine posts today?)

xxox

WM

ps you have NO idea how loudly the kids have been protesting in the background, the entire time I’ve been posting here. It had to be done. On a bright note — this week’s homework is now finished. “Webkinz, now?” Yes.

My kids: “We stay up ’til 11 now and sleep ’til 11!”

(Lucky me.)

Happy Year of the Rat, yins.

WM