Oh. My. God. Amy and Jason just had the cutest most adorable sweetest brand new lil baby, Noah. Look at her blog and be amazed…

(it’s linked on the side, there. No, there… See it?)

xxox to them.

WM

ps okay this is funny — Wacky Boy was begging for new batteries for one of his eighteen flashlights. I swear to God, if one more person gives him a flashlight as a gift (??? is this a trend???) I will have an episode. I replaced ’em, came out of the kitchen waving it and asking, “Who’s the best mommy?” Both kids look up, confused, and ask, “Who?”

And already with the lice? (Not us, thanks for asking.) Damn. Those school nurses do not get paid enough. Wacky Girl is itching, I’m itching, Wacky Boy is itching, scritch, scritch, scritch.

She had a great day — all is well here.

No word today from C.

Wacky Girl was playing with this “bio-dot” tester they put in with my hire packet. It’s an Employee Assistance Program handout, apparently. You paste a little dot between your forefinger and thumb, wait for it to change colors, and it gauges your mood. (Uh, I didn’t need a bio-dot kit to judge WG’s mood earlier.) It’s kinda like a sticky dot version of a Mood Ring.

“It’s brown, see?” she sez. “I’m tense. What’s tense?”

Wacky Boy jumps in, “I’m tense.”

Me: “You’re both tense?”

WB, nodding: “Very tense.”

Me, i’m relaxed as hell, being unemployed and all.

from WM:

staying home today, not going to fountain, not going to park, not going out for Last-Day-Of-Summer-Before-School-Starts-Tomorrow celebration lunch cuz Wacky Girl is morose and weepy. She is the youngest in her class. And the smartest, according to her. (And me :)

“So I guess I’ll just be the youngest, and the smartest, all year,” she said, huddled in lump in corner of kitchen, crying, in between chewing on a zucchini muffin top.

Then she came up with a plan: Flunk first grade. “It’ll be harder than kindergarten!” she said. And brightened up at the possibility of having to re-do first grade, thus being one of the oldest, next year. Good to have goals, i guess.

I’m morose and weepy still over flooding, and everyone uprooted or worse. Prayers and more prayers and off to light my candles.

Help however you can — lots of clothing drives, food drives and fundraisers going on around the country. Sean Penn took a boat around to pick up survivors. Harry Connick Jr. and Sean Penn need to run for president and vice-president.

lots of love,

WM

ps I quit my new job. Just. Like. That. Turns out they didn’t want someone part-time. Well, they wanted to pay for part-time, but have them there full-time, Mon-Fri. It just wasn’t swinging for me. You know what they say in Texas — Que sara, sara.

We went school shopping today. Honest to God, parents should get combat pay for spending an hour at Gap Kids trying fifty pairs of jeans on their wiggly little almost-five-year-old. Out of these fifty, two fit. Sort of.

Yes, there were 2 (two) dressing rooms for 800 (eight hundred) children.

Jeans were on sale. Yes, her three-year-old brother had to go along. Fine with him, as he enjoys licking the filthy carpets in dressing rooms and spends most of his time in there rolling about like a little puppy in a meadow.

Signed,

Tired Wacky Mommy

“It is necessary to have purpose.”

— Alice #1, “I, Mudd”, stardate 4513.3

(more…)

first blog from Wacky Boy:

I like to play video games. I like to jump in the swimming pool. I like to play with games.

Wacky Girl: He likes to go in my room and mess up my bed.

WB: Yeah.

(more…)

Mix:

1 cup honey
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup dry powdered milk

Mix ingredients. Add additional milk if necessary to make the dough pliable. This dough is extremely edible. (Not for kids under age one.)

My new favorite thing to give to kids for a present: Comic books. PowerPuff Girls, the Incredibles, Scooby Doo — I do not care, as long as it’s cheap and it keeps ’em happy. Less than 10 bucks for two. Wrap a candy bar in with it and you’ve made someone’s day. My mom’s favorite thing when she was a kid was a Little LuLu comic book and a pack of M&Ms. Why mess with success?

The guy who owns Bridge City Comics (3725 N. Mississippi Ave., 503-282-5484) has a nice store with a kids’ section. It’s near the Blue Gardenia, in case you want a cuppa joe and a homemade hoho. And he’s nothing like Comic Bookstore Guy on “The Simpsons,” fyi. He just got married and is very proud of his new wife. Awwwww…… that’s sweet, huh? Also, he has the Sock Monkey series of kids’ books, which made me happy cuz my Wacky Sister loves her sock monkeys. So I bought her one.

There’s a pet supply store a couple doors down, so the pets won’t be left out of the goodies — Salty Dog. Lots of tricks and treats for the critters.

WM

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and… SCHOOL WILL BE OUT! I’m more excited than the kids.