I just got this e-mail from Wacky Mommy A and she agreed to let me share it. She needs to vent, pobrecita. I’d heard about Amalah’s Heartbreaking Friday of Staggering Suck, as she so sweetly put it. And I thought, “Doesn’t get much worse than that,” followed by a rapid prayer, “Please-God-let-me-never-have-that-kind-of-day. Please? Thank you.”

Then I hear from A, who reads Amalah’s blog, too (who doesn’t? The girl has a larger fan base than Reese Witherspoon), and had uttered a similar prayer. So you know what’s next. Yeah, A’s day completely bit. “…Unless the car is on fire” isn’t what you ever want to hear your mechanic saying. And she created a new phrase: “move-a-fucking-long now.” I like it.

It’s making my little inconveniences with the contractors, the weather, the kids freaking out and using the Swiffer duster as a weapon on each other, all of that is looking pretty manageable.

So A — Don’t jump, lady! Just enjoy your first week at your brand new job.

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Word for the day is:

weltschmerz (VELT-shmerts) noun; world weariness; pessimism, apathy, or sadness felt at the difference between physical reality and the ideal state.

Thank you, Anu Garg.

My Wacky Neighbor just brought over an entire plate of gooey, frosted brownies. OMFG. Thank you, WN!

Happy and cold today. Not wishing for anyone to roast in hell. Am writing now, must go.

Burn in hell, Neil Entwistle.

Dammit I want some pasta with a mushroom sauce right now. Pasta Bangs? (It’s my favorite pasta place, over on N. Mississippi. She’s got a Jamie Oliver deal going, with street kids working for her. She’s very hep, Ms. Polly Bangs. Go give her some business, if you’re in Portland, Ore.)

Any questions for the Friday Advice column? Remodeling help, breastfeeding tips, sexpert advice, we do it all here…

“Do you know why the menopausal woman crossed the road? To kill the chicken.”

— Jane Condon

Our List:

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all week in the rain.

WM

A paragraph from an e-mail I just received from Wacky Mommy B in West Africa. She and her husband (they’re formerly from Oregon) are living there with their three children, experiencing the carefree life of living abroad, teaching English, taking photographs, and writing. I’ve decided I don’t mind the cool Oregon weather so much, after reading this.

love,

WM

“Well I�m tired. It�s hot. Did I mention the heat? It�s no longer the hot season — our house is no longer inundated with cockroaches (although we do have dragonflies now), and it cools off at night and the heat is drier so much more bearable. But today the sun was like a hammer. It was 104. Of course, it usually is, but today it was 104 for much longer, and the night is not bringing those cool ocean breezes mentioned in the brochure.”

“Eating chocolate is like being in love without the aggravation.”

— anon.

Now, go break into the Halloween candy early! You have my permission. Wacky Boy is going as a pirate. Or a bumblebee. Or a witch. He can’t decide. Wacky Girl is going dressed in that scary as hell skeleton costume that’s so popular at the Halloween Superstore. The one from the movie “Scream”? Yeah, that’s the one. Jesus. She even scares me in it.

I am not volunteering at WG’s class Halloween party tomorrow. Still bronchial, but fever is gone. No pneumonia! (That’s an order.) Wacky Grandma has kindly volunteered to make egg carton spiders and help with the sugar cooky decorating. God love the woman she’s a saint. Especially for putting up with my Wackiness lo these many years.

Have you seen “Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the WereRabbit” yet? It’s funny as hell. We all loved it, especially Wacky Grandma. Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeen everyone!

xoxx

WM