Reviewed today:

Little reviews today — only one kid is home, the girl is at Grandma’s. The boy wants to blow up my computer. Must post, post-haste… (more…)

Were you wondering what it’s like to get a mammogram? Here’s an illustrated post for you from a little pregnant.

People, it is no fun to have no electricity when the temperature has soared to 102. We had no power from 4:30-9:30 p.m. yesterday. For the Thursday Thirteen, here is what we did: (more…)

Hello, Product Slut here.

I am not a hot-hot weather fan. Warm, yes… balmy, definitely… but not 102 degrees hot. Who likes it that hot? No one is who. Whenever the weather’s unbearably warm (air-conditioning? in my house? ha ha ha) and I’m grouchy I just have to remember one thing: Our anniversary is in two months.

It was hot the day we were wed. Because my husband is smokin’ that’s why! It was weather-hot and sexy husband hot. One of my favorite wedding gifts was from a dear former co-worker of mine. It’s called Happily Ever After: Couples Talk About Lasting Love, by Laurie Wagner, Stephanie Rausser and David Collier (Chronicle Books, 159 pages). It’s based on Collier’s film “For Better or For Worse.” It’s a sweet book, romantic and honest. It’s a good one for me to pick up and re-read, and reminds me of that wedding day of ours, nine years ago this September.

I played at the mall with the kids today — we saw the Nancy Drew movie, totally fun, and had lunch. I bought them some little goodies (and I’m enjoying this time, believe me, because it doesn’t take much to keep them happy. Teen years we may not get by so easy).

The other day? They both were thrilled because we’d filled out their summer reading logs and they nabbed two free books from Barnes & Noble. The theme is “Magic Treehouse” and that’s my son’s favorite series ever. Perfect-o. (Only complaint: I wish they’d extend the program to all ages — baby through 18 — and not limit it to school-age kids.)

We got home to no power, crashed, hot ‘n’ bothered computer servers, two limp, miserable cats, but no matter! I got a sample of the new Venus Breeze razor and loads of coupons. (Thank you, Vocalpoint! Keep sending those goodies my way. Go sign up yourself if you want in.) I didn’t buy even one thing for myself at the mall, but who cares? Freebies rock.

But was that all? Oh, no. Also in the mailbag, I had a little box with wee baby goodies from the Thymes Sweetleaf Baby collection — soap, a washcloth, babywash and lotion. So squee and yummy and I’m really happy I don’t have a selfish little baby who wants to share because they’re mine, mine, mine.

Babies are so selfish. They get all the gifts, don’t they?

Oh, my kids, right. OK. I’ll share the babywash with them, but not the rest.

Was that all? No. Thymes is out of Minneapolis, and I love Minneapolis. I will give anyone from there a promo any damn time at all. Woo-hooooooooo, Minnesota! Land of 10,000 Lakes!!! Which is not giving them enough credit, because it’s actually around 15,000 lakes! Along with the baby goodies and tucked away in a separate box was a whole set of tiny little samples. Again — all for me. Because they know I love tiny samples. Thymes makes a whole line of products for bath, body and home. They want to make everyone happy, not just the selfish little babies.

The scents are just over-the-moon and I’m being honest here — I’m not too keen on strong scents. But I took a few for a test drive — Kimono Rose body creme, Persian Pear hand lotion, Azur body milk, Wild Ginger body lotion, oh yum. I smell so yummy. The scents are light, and I’ve got some aroma-therapy going here.

Life is bliss. Carry on.

You may have noticed our sites disappeared for a few hours there — another major power outage in North Portland, Ore. It was 102 or something today, so we amped out. Seven hundred houses around us lost power, and another 2,500 in Happy Valley, I heard. But we’re back up and good now so thanks for your patience — I’ll post tomorrow.

kisses,

WM

Even though Vicki Phillips has left for the Gates Foundation, we’re still stuck with the mess she’s left behind for Portland Public Schools. We have some K-8 schools; some that don’t fit the mold; Jefferson High School, my neighborhood school, still in shambles (but they can spring for astro-turf at Grant. Go, Generals! You’re right, you do deserve the best, ya idiots); they’re possibly adding on to Lincoln (hell yes, Lincoln Needs Money and More, More, More) (I’m being sarcastic, is it transmitting?), etc.

Let’s go back a few years. A long, long time ago, I didn’t have kids. And I didn’t know much about schools, like many of you. I always cared, though. So I always voted for the school funding measures, and I even volunteered at the public schools once in awhile. (They’d ask me to come in sometimes and talk with the kids about How I Became a Writer.)

At the back of my mind, always, I’m thinking, “Who’s going to be cath-ing me when I’m old? Who’s going to be working at the nursing home? Will they talk Kerouac with me?” I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. I had to fight hard to finish. I worked two or three jobs the entire time I was in school and graduated debt-free, thankyouverymuch. (My aunt brought up the number of grads in my family to two a few years ago! Yay, auntie! And my cousin graduated this spring! Go, us! That’s three college graduates. Plus one who just finished nursing school! I was raised by wolves, people, but it’s OK. I’ve learned to deal.) School is important to me, and always has been.

My Mom had a little mantra for me that she started chanting when I was three years old. Or maybe two. “First you’ll graduate from grade school, then you’ll graduate from high school, then you’ll graduate from college!” Oh, OK. And she and my Dad set aside enough money to pay for my first year, so I had to go! (See what happens when you expect things from your kids?)

We need decent, strong, free public schools in this world, especially for those students who aren’t getting a lot of encouragement or money from the homefront. Not everyone has parents who are pushing them.

I had a stepson, sort of, lo these many years ago. When my live-in boyfriend and I broke up, I kept visiting rights with his son, so I got a little glimpse into the Portland Public School system at that time. (He’s 21 now.) (more…)

i have flickr now. I HAVE FLICKR NOW!

For most of you, especially those of you who know what kind of camera you shoot with (and I didn’t, not until I signed up with Flickr) — this is not a big deal. But I can’t figure out photos — uploads, downloads, sideloads, how to group things, how to post little fingernails — thumbnails! — onto the site so it doesn’t take you an hour to call up my site when you get there.

Things like that.

(I didn’t know what kind of camera I had, do you get what I’m saying? I mean, I’m not exactly cutting-edge technology here.)

But thanks to my Yahoo! e-mail account (that I forgot I had), I just buzzed right through it. Seeing Jenny McB’s pix got me all excited. I, too, am crafty! I knit! I put her down as my first contact. I feel so bonded with her now. Go look at her pictures, they’re real sweet.

I shoot with a Canon PowerShot A10. (It told me what kind of camera I took the pictures with. It told me what date. This blows me away. Me: “Is that Neskowin?” (in Oregon.) Hockey God: “It’s Carlsbad. Look at the date!” Me: “Whoa!”) It’s just a simple camera, but I like the pictures I take with it. Anyway, there are only a dozen pix on there so far, but you can see the ducks and rose petals from today, and a few shots of our poor, pitiful bathroom when it was being remodeled last year. Really wishing I’d taken befores ‘n’ afters of our living room — we’ve gone from purple, blue and gold (sponge-painting and “paper bag art,” yick) to green and blue (also yick) to a nice, simple off-white. Delicious!

I’ll upload more photos soon. Because now I know how to.

love,

WM

Here, dear readers — My day in real time.

Sort of.

5, 6, 7 & 8 a.m.: Sleeping. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Large Wacky Cat 2, the stripedy one, pins me in on one side; muscular husband pins me in on the other. Why does the Cat want to sleep with us? It’s so flippin’ hot. Unable to move. Sex? No. Have to sleep. Can’t open eyes. Consider a new lifestyle that involves not staying up so late at night. Hmmm. What time did we go to bed? Vaguely remember 11 o’clock news. Keep eyes closed. Sleep. (more…)

So stuck-up, doing a “greatest hits” of my Thursday Thirteens. (But when has being stuck-up ever stopped me?) We stayed up too late last night. Mojitos were involved. The Pink-Haired Housewife and the Barkeep were over. And I’m too lazy to try to track down all my old faves from everyone else’s blogs, so here we go…

I haven’t been with Thursday Thirteen since the beginning, and I didn’t know I was supposed to number by the week I was on. So that’s why I’m even-steven with 100, when really it’s only been 49. (I deleted one accidentally.)

I read a TON of the Thirteeners, but some of my favorites (and I have many) are Mallory, Vader’s Mom, Jenny McB, Zoot, Gabrielle, DK Raymer. And my husband, More Hockey Less War, natch. Sorry if I left your blog off the list. Again, mojitos fog over here. But I do read a bunch of you every week, even though I’m bad about leaving comments, sometimes.

(Drive-bys, I call those.)

Here are some of the Thursday Thirteens I’ve written that y’all seemed to like, and that are favorites of mine, too.

1. My 13 Superpowers

2. 13 Things I Did as a Kid

3. 13 Stupid Things People Have Said to Me Since My Dog Died

4. 13 Funny Stories About My Dog (cuz you have to take the sweet along with the bitter. Ha ha.)

5. 13 Reasons Portland is Lousy

6. 13 Reasons Why You Should Not Go On American Idol

7. 13 Things My Husband and I Disagree On

8. Thirteen Things Bosses Have Said to Me

9. 13 Things My Grandma Likes to Say Over and Over

10. 13 Reasons Why I ROCK, plus a Q&A with myself

11. 13 Reasons Why YOU ROCK!

12. 13 Things I Do to Fuck with My Cantankerous Neighbor

13. My favorite post I’ve ever written. Ever. Thirteen Ways to Get It Up!

Happy Thursday, everyone! Happy 100!

It’s only the third of July, but damned if the Wacky Family will be deterred from lighting off fireworks early. I DO NOT HAVE A DOG IS WHY. Poor dog. I miss my dog — every time I walk by the huge fern in the back yard I expect to see him come slithering out. (It was cool and dank under there — nice and chilly on a hot dog’s belly.) But he is gone. I loved that crazy dog. And by crazy, I mean “teched.”

BUT NOW WE DON’T NEED SEDATIVES. So I bought the hugest box I could find at Target (the legal Oregon ones, not the illegal Washington ones, thanks) and Wacky Boy picked out his favorite. It has a big stick.

Because that’s what it’s all about in this life, and my son has figured that out — Who has the biggest stick?

We jammed it in the lawn, lit it, and KABLOOIE! Right away it starts acting like an illegal Washington firework (where they have the good ones. Same as the reservation fireworks. None of this wussy crap. The good ones. Like in Missouri!). It spits sparks and fireballs all over.

“That could catch our lawn on fire,” I say.

“Yep,” my children’s father says.

“It is catching on lawn on fire. I’ll get the hose.”

“Yep,” my children’s father repeats.

The kids just now, on their way to bed: “Wasn’t that so cooooool how dad caught the lawn on fire???”

Happy Fourth, y’all. Here’s to our continued American independence, and our need to thrust our independent ways down everyone else’s throats.

Happy Fourth, Scooter Libby, ya bozo. Whew! Close one.