Because really, there is no point in sticking your head in the oven over it.

Get some Thai food and call it a night.

“I stuck the letter back in the envelope, Scotch-taped it together, and readdressed it to Buddy, without putting on a new stamp. I thought the message was worth a good three cents. Then I decided I would spend the summer writing a novel. That would fix a lot of people.”

— Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”

* Marbles
* Trains & train tracks
* Trucks
* Tin boxes
* Wax paper from small rounds of cheese
* Tiny dinosaurs
* Duplos
* Legos
* Blocks

May the Lord keep you in
His hand
And never close His fist too
tight on you.

May you live to be
a hundred years
With one extra year
to repent.

May the grass grow long
On the road to Hell
For want of use.

May you have warm words
on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark
night,
And the road downhill all
the way to your door.

“Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength.”
— Eric Hoffer, philosopher and author (1902-1983)

“Should Chuck E. Cheese sell booze?” Such a no-brainer. No.

Yeah, you thought I was going to say yes, didn’t you? You do need a Valium IV, or a handful of Xanax, or a fifth of Absolut to get through the Chuck E. Cheese experience. We went for a birthday party the other night — and true to form, the kids had a blast and I became a screaming bitch from hell. But more later about the ride home.

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My friend started a blog! How exciting… She’s MamaToo at Blogspot. Go tell her hello.

(Edited to say — whoops! I forgot to link!)

13. I could whistle like our neighbors’ guinea pigs. I trained the little rodents to run to me.

12. 1 loved to eat frozen lemonade concentrate straight out of the can.

11. I devoured Pixie Stix.

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The setting: Last Sunday afternoon. I’m lying in bed, hoping my family will leave so I can watch the Las Vegas season finale I have on tape. (I finally watched the whole thing. My review: Creepy, too weird, not enough hott love scenes.)

My husband: “I’ll fix dinner. You always get home cooking on the weekend.”

Me: “I cook during the week!” (…and I’m thinking, not last week I didn’t — we had Thai, pizza, and Indian take-out, then went out on Friday.)

Wacky Girl, who’s sprawled on the bed: “Bullshit.”

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“Little Skunk was glad to do that.
But then he saw another little skunk.
She was very pretty.
He gave the kiss to her.
And she gave it back.
And he gave it back.
And then Hen came along.
‘Too much kissing,’ she said.”

from “A Kiss For Little Bear”
— written by Else Holmelund Minarik & illustrated by Maurice Sendak

Everyone in my hometown of Portland, Ore., is all a-twitter because of something the kids are calling “Freak Dancing,” aka “Grinding” or “Freaking.” It supposedly leads to blindness.

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I don’t know how old these toasts are, but older than I am at the very least…

“When God measures you,
may He put the tape
around your big and
generous heart and not
around your small and
foolish head.”

“May those who love us love
us;
And those that don’t love
us,
May God turn their hearts;
And if He doesn’t turn
their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by
their limping.”

“The Irish heart — quick
and strong in its generous impulses;
firm in its attachments and
sound to the core.”

“I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.”
— Edith Konecky, writer

Dear Doctor I Fired Yesterday,
You were a lousy doctor, that’s why I fired you. In case you were wondering. And no, you can’t fire me, or quit, because I fired you first. Nyah-nyah.

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