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Later, CAT Scan

May 15th, 2006

Let me preface this by saying, I really hate puking. Yeah, like anyone enjoys puking, eh? But some people, they get the flu, or hungover, or pregnant, and eh, they puke. No big deal. You puke, rinse your mouth, brush the teeth, feel all better.

Some people just stick the finger down the throat and they’re good.

I am not one of those people.


Damn, I Thought I Was Worth a Million a Year

May 13th, 2006

“This week, Salary.com announced that a stay-at-home mom’s work is worth $134,121 a year. But the check is not in the mail.”

— Ellen Goodman, writer


What Da Heck?

May 11th, 2006

Wacky Boy, muttering to himself: “What da heck is dis? A daddy long legs? I cannot touch him. I CANNOT TOUCH HIM, MOM!”

Me: “Yes, honey, please leave the spider alone.”


Pink and White Frosted Cookies: They’re Good for You!

May 11th, 2006

My Wacky Sister, God love her, loves my kids. Loves, loves, adores, wants to gobble them up. And love, of course, means bringing them those gawdawful pink and white frosted animal cookies when she babysits.

I have developed a huge addiction to these little monsters. They’re like crack cocaine. The sprinkles! The frosting! Two kinds! Gimme another bag, would you? Apparently I’m not the only one. See?

Here is yesterday’s e conversation about them, with Wacky Cousin (we’d also been talking about her morning sickness, do any foods sound good now, etc. Her bebe is growing along just fine, I am pleased to report):

“Those cookies are gross! Jesus. I ate 5 for dessert. After breakfast. You don’t eat dessert with breakfast, it’s a rule. No Dessert Just Cuz You Ate Your Breakfast.”

Her advice? Perfect, as always. She should be writing the advice column around here: “Um. Your rules seem to have changed. But that’s okay, too. However! Everyone deserves dessert cuz they ate their breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day, and if they ate it, that’s good. And yes, almost everything sounds good, except clams. They smell like pee. But whatever is good because, really, I can’t make up my mind. Ever. About anything. And those cookies are NOT gross. They are good, and probably good for you, because those animal cookies are good for you, and sprinkles don’t even count. So, just the frosting is left and it has to be good for you cuz it’s pink and white. Those are good for you colors. Ok, not white, but pink means fruit. And fruit is good for you, so just don’t eat the white ones, and you are good.
Love you.”

OMG. Sounds like she has that pregnancy amnesia I remember so fondly. Although I couldn’t remember anything at the time. Sheesh. Off to the kitchen. I think there may be a handful of cookies left.

Happy Mother’s Day to You, from Wacky Mommy

May 9th, 2006

Hello Mamas,

Wacky N sent this one along. Celebrate! And keep working for peace in this war-loving country of ours.


Mother’s Day was originally started after the Civil War, as a protest to the carnage of that war, by women who had lost their
sons. Here is the original Mother’s Day Proclamation from 1870, followed by a bit of “herstory”:


Rise Up!

May 8th, 2006

Feeling political today? Check out MomsRising.org. (Thanks to Staci for the tip.)


Sunday Book Review

May 7th, 2006

Next to my nightstand, tripping me everytime I get up:

* A pile of toys Wacky Boy keeps adding to — my Mother’s Day gifts. (They include, so far, five Boohbahs in different colors — hot pink, purple, blue, orange and yellow; a rubber snake; several teddy bears; and Whiskers, his favorite stuffed bunny. This is true love, that he gave me Whiskers.)

* One large black Lab, who thinks he’s a cat

* Four journals (two of my own, one for each of the kids)

* TV Guide (because who can maneuver television without guidance?)

* A large stack of old copies of the Nation, New Yorker and Cosmo (???) magazines

These books:


Friday Advice Column for Wacky Mothers & Others

May 5th, 2006

A disclaimer: I am not a trained professional, and none of this advice should be considered “professional medical or mental health advice” in any way, shape or form.

Dear Wacky Mommy,

I have this same problem with my husband. I think he suffers from depression, can’t sleep at night, sleeps in as late as he can get away with. It drives me crazy! He is supposed to be a role model for our children. What kind of role model sleeps in until 10 a.m. sometimes while the rest of the family is up? He does take a daily pill for depression, eats well and exercises two to three times per week (only when I make him go). I am at my last straw here and I think the sheet changing, bongo parade or nose plugging will just add to the fighting this already is causing. He thinks it is no big deal and tells me not to worry about him. I know he is stressed because he started a new job, but I think he should be getting his lazy butt out of bed early to work as hard as he can to get better at it. Please give some words of advice.




Stupid Bastard Painter

May 4th, 2006

Whew. After reading your posts and e-mails, I am feeling okay about the Food Thing. I mean, you promise, right? You promise they won’t eat like freaks their whole lives?

Thank you, I feel way better now.


The Sheep That Rided in the Car

May 2nd, 2006

A Short Story By Wacky Boy

Once upon a time, there was three sheep driving along in a car. Then… I forgot all the story.

Wacky Girl, to the rescue…

When all of a sudden the funny wheel rolled along…

WB: No! That’s wrong!

Then one of the wheels rolled off and then the sheep fell onto the wheel and the wheel rolled all over with the sheep on it.


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