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SWAT teams in my neighborhood

July 25th, 2007

I was trying to 1) run a book over to my friend’s house. My friend who lives five blocks from me, 2) drop off videos at Hollywood Video, because apparently Netflix and the library and its awesome DVD three-week check-out are not enough for us, we need Hollywood, too and, 3) get my daughter to her swimming class.

Then I saw 1) two cop cars blocking the intersection where I needed to turn and 2) another cop car, who let me through and 3) a SWAT team set up three blocks from my house and 4) another SWAT team? aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I hate this shit! Let me out of my neighborhood! (more…)

“Oh, yeah, mama. That’s the motherlode.”

July 23rd, 2007

I was at sushi with the kids, after swimming. There’s a sushi place on the way home from the pool. We’re in Portland, Ore. There’s a sushi place on the way home from anywhere. I’m having what I usually have — shrimps, rice, cucumber salad, green tea. Wacky Girl’s having what she usually has: a nice big bowl of RICE. Wacky Boy’s having what he usually has: water. And he’s complaining about the lack of eclairs and cream puffs. He did agree to try a bite of inari and a bite of ginger.

“Ewww! Hot!”

I’m thinking of the last time my husband and I debated the following topic: Iowa — strengths and weaknesses.

me: “Will there be sushi in Iowa City? Because I eat sushi, like, four times a week.”

him: “Jesus, of course there’s sushi in Iowa! You think that stuff you’re eating is fresh? It’s all frozen.”

me: “No it’s not.”

him: “Yes it is.”

me: “No it’s not but what are you?”

him: “argggggggggggh…”

In walks Chris Cornell. Just kidding! He just looked like the Audioslave Soundgarden guy, this man. Which is to say, you know, cute. He sits at the counter, orders some soup. In Spanish, cuz half the cooks are Hispanic. Then he’s telling them jokes, in Spanish, and they’re cracking up, and I’m thinking, “I barely speak English.” Then they must have gotten his order wrong, because they’re taking back a plate and saying, “Lo siento,” (I’m sorry — I know that much in Spanish. Har.)

And he’s all (in English), “No, bro, it’s okay.” Then the manager comes out, and dude starts speaking Japanese to him. And telling him jokes, too, cuz they were both laughing. Then they hand him another plate, and dude says, “Oh, yeah, mama. That’s the motherlode.” (In English, cuz you know I don’t speak Japanese, either.)

heh heh heh heh heh

Sunday Recipe Club: Pineapple Upside-Down Cake

July 22nd, 2007

Still working with my Granny on her memoirs. Hoo-boy! It’s more exciting than a trip on the MAX train. (I only wish I was kidding.) You need a recipe from her, don’t you? It’s a little enigmatic, just like my dear Gran, but I think you will be able to decipher it.

Bon appetit!



* Cake mix: Yellow, Supermoist Duncan Hines

* 1 big can + 1 little can pineapple (instead of using water to make the cake, use juice from the can)

* Make brown sugar/butter: Melt ½ cube butter, add brown sugar to butter, keep adding it as long as it can handle it.

* Bake in two 8 x 8 pans, greased (no flour)

* Sugar/butter, then pineapples, then cherries (fit them between the pineapple rings), then cake mix.

everyone on the MAX train is stinky

July 22nd, 2007

Everyone on the MAX train smells, my friend, except for me and thee. (That’s what my grandpa would say — “Everyone is a bit odd, except me and thee.”) It always smells like pee and B.O. on the MAX train and the bus and it is “nasty.”

Also, I’ve only had two good experiences on the bus. No, three. One time, I saw a sign at the bus stop that said: (more…)

Portland Aerial Tram

July 21st, 2007

Portland Aerial Tram
Do you ever wonder what it would be like, dangling from a thin cable way up high, swaying in the wind, praying you don’t crash to a sudden death?

Me neither.

My kids and husband wanted to know, though, and today they took a ride on the Portland Aerial Tram. I stayed home and read a book. It was a boring book, I’ll spare you the details. Then I washed dishes, did some laundry, worked out, stretched into some yoga poses and meditated until they all three tromped back home. That’s all the excitement I need.

Pictures on Flickr, if you’re interested.
Portland Aerial Tram

Search Keyphrases (Top Ten)

July 21st, 2007

(all out of order)

quotes recall wacky wacky wacky other cake mommy mommy mommy nasty volcano sex sex chocolate trains volcano dirty cake holidays thomas neighbors sluts phrases

Rockin’ Girl Bloggers

July 21st, 2007

Rockin' Girl Bloggers

Ash in Wonderland had her baby girl! She is so little and perfect and… sigh. And she doesn’t know how to curse yet! (Wacky Boy, earlier today: “Shit! My favorite word is shit!” Me, thought bubble: “Oh, #@!$&!”)

Babies are so appealing, for this and many other reasons. Sweet babies, I love you so. Go say hi and congrats. Also, last month, even though she was eight months pregnant and busy and all, she took it upon herself to name me a Rockin’ Girl Blogger. Awww! I am just now getting around to bestowing the title upon five other chicks (who are supposed to name five additional chicks — sharing the love). I say…


Mrs. Flinger

Mallory in the Middle

Busy Mom and…

Planet Nomad!!! Who is coming back to Portland!!! (This pretty much ensures we will find work in Iowa and move away, probably two days after she and her family arrive. More on Iowa later — I know I haven’t been keeping everyone updated on that. But I will. Oh, I will… because I know how intrigued you all are by my yearning for a Midwestern lifestyle.)

Welcome to the club!

Thursday Thirteen #102: 13 Story Ideas for The Oregonian/You Missed the Boat

July 18th, 2007

Thursday 13ers and Usual Suspects, we have company today. The Oregonian is here. Sure, they won’t leave comments or anything, but they’re here.

Hi, guys. (more…)

The Oregonian Needs Help from Wacky Mommy

July 18th, 2007

Jack Bog has an interesting discussion going on about some shake-ups at the Oregonian, our daily newspaper here in town. Check it out.

What are the newspapers like in your cities? Boring as ours? More boring? Do you read them, or just hand them to your kid so she can read the funnies? That’s what happens at our house. I do love the TV listings. And Chelsea Cain. She talks about her dead mother even more often than I talk about my dead father.

It’s kismet, really.

Speaking of death — (more…)

Monday Book Review: Vaccinated! Halfway House! The Path to the Spiders’ Nests! And Taking on the Gates Foundation, To Boot!

July 16th, 2007

(That’s a whole lotta exclamation points, no? WM)

Reviewed and mentioned today:

For this week’s review, we’re talking about “Vaccinated: One Man’s Quest to Defeat the World’s Deadliest Diseases”, by Paul A. Offit, M.D. Your unfriendly reviewers are Wacky Mommy and the Pink-Housed Housewife. To start, may I, WM, just say that the book is about Montana native Maurice Hilleman, but you wouldn’t know it from the title. I thought Offit was the big genius but he’s not. They need to add Hilleman’s name to the title. (They may have — we’re reading review copies.) (Also, there are no indexes in the review copies. I have found this vexing.) (more…)

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