Just found this one…

PTA Parents’ Book Club

Hello everyone. I find myself with a large stack of review copies here and thought I should maybe, you know, at least open a book this summer.

(A book other than Lu and the Swamp Ghost, that is. Wacky Boy gives this book, by political guy James Carville, two big thumbs-up. It comes with a CD so you can figure out how to pronounce the French. I appreciated this.)

Let’s start with travel, then move right into the health and classic Biblical names section, shall we?

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Dear Thursday Thirteeners:

Thirteen compliments for you…

13. You’re pretty.

12. And skinny! Dang!

11. Here, have some of my ice cream. It has chocolate syrup on it.

10. You are the best mom/dad/friend/sister/brother/daughter/son. I mean it.

9. I love your outfit. Can I try it on?

8. Your hair is perfect.

7. Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).

6. You are as cool as Sly & the Family Stone.

5. You are a natural at that!

4. Don’t change. You’re perfect eggsactly the way you are.

3. I mean it. Don’t go changing, to try and please me.

2. The way you decorated your house is so super-cool.

1. Want a foot rub? Back rub? Anything I can get for you?

re: The Community Garden at our school. People, it is not enough to merely plant the garden, you must harvest it, too.

Also, tomatoes need to be staked.

Also, sunflowers? Pretty and all, but they suck. I mean suck. All. The. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife out of the soil, sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp… yep, there it goes. Nutrients, water, compost — vanished. So don’t be planting ten sunflowers in with lettuce, herbs, cabbages, all hippie-happy, “Oh! How I love to garden! It’s so fun and easy!” and what-have-you and expecting anything to grow except the sunflowers. They will eat the garden, believe me.

Then they will say, “I look so beautiful, don’t I? I deserved it all.” They’re vain that way.

That’s all I have to say about any of that.

Because sometimes, there are just not enough recipes in the world…

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Hello everyone, it’s Wacky Girl. I don’t like my name to be Wacky Girl, that is not even my real name. But mom says I have to. She does not know me.

I just knitted a hat for my brother. It’s white. Grandma made a pom-pom for it but he didn’t want it, so she put it on my dress. I like it. My Grandma is in town from Colorado. We are having really fun. We went on a hike. (Ed: Oxbow Park.)

Wacky Boy: Can we watch a cartoon? Like the Aristocats? Ice Age? American Dragon? Wallace & Gromit? CareBear movies? Cartoons. Cartoons like that, Mom.

WG: Or PBS Kids? Dad does not let us watch TV. But he’s not here. (Ed: He’s at the liquor store, buying rum — good rum, not Bacardi blech — for mojitos. 2006 will be remembered always as the summer we discovered mojitos.)

WG: Mommy won’t let me watch TV either!

WB has no comment. Me? Missing in action? Yes, I was in Gladstone, Ore., housesitting for Zip. I remembered things while I was gone — what I like to fix myself for dinner, for example. (Beef shish kebabs, yogurt, cereal, fruit…) and had fun playing with the two black Labs. I gave up on one manuscript and outlined another. I wrote a whole page of “Things I Would Blog About IF I COULD GET A G.D. INTERNET CONNECTION” but it’s on the laptop and the kids are screaming for TV so…

Tom and Jerry Whiskers Away! it is.

More later,

Love,

WM

Thirteen Best Things to Eat

I love you!!!! Thursday Thirteen! Stay cool.

Your friend,

WM

13. Watermelon with lime juice squeezed all over it, and salt sprinkled on top

12. A Lindt truffle bar

11. Shrimp dip and Waverly Wafers. (To make shrimp dip: Take one block of cream cheese, cover it with cooked prawns or tiny shrimp, pour cocktail sauce over, serve!)

10. Nachos (Chips covered with refried beans, chopped onions, sliced olives, sliced jalapenos, roasted shredded chicken (if you’d like), and lots of shredded sharp cheddar cheese. Cook at 375 degrees til browned and bubbly. Serve with fresh tomatos, cilantro, salsa, chipotle sauce, sweet hot chili sauce, sour cream, avocado…)

11. Garden burgers rolled up in a flour tortilla with lettuce, ranch dressing, pickles and ketchup with tater tots on the side

10. A fried egg sandwich on toasted, buttered white bread with a big bowl of Top Ramen soup

9. My grandma’s chicken and dumplings

8. My grandma’s “Ambrosia” — sliced oranges with fresh shredded coconut

7. Hockey God’s vegetable saute (zucchini, onion, garlic, tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, fresh basil and whatever else is fresh from the garden), with a crusty loaf of peasant bread, a tossed green salad with homemade vinaigrette (You’ll also find recipes here for polenta and veggie meatloaf, yum… Do a search on my sidebar for “Tuesday Recipe Club” or “recipes” and have fun digging through my archives. I love to cook… and eat…)

6. Pesto Frittata with Roasted Asparagus

5. A cheeseburger or a Relleno Burrito from Burrito Loco down the street

4. Pad Thai from Thai Ginger, the cart down the street, Typhoon… I’m not fussy, just bring it on with a Thai iced coffee and some spring rolls on the side

3. Anything Wacky Girl makes, cuz it means I’m not cooking

2. Beef Stoganoff, Beef Stew, roast beef sandwich with aioli mayo, fresh tomatoes and lettuce on sourdough. Oh!!! I’m running out of room. A Cornish game hen at the late, beloved Vat & Tonsure

1. Chocolate Puddin’ Cake

“Ah, not a good year for your clan, huh?” a friend of ours asked my sister and me toward the end of 1997. We ran into him at a party. It was the first social event I’d attended in ages, other than funerals.

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From Wacky Boy: “Mom! Flush toilets in Iowa! With a space cracker!”

And really, I did not know what to say to that.

We all have sun poisoning and some of us have mojitos poisoning here after a big, long, fun weekend. Went with our friends and their lovable children to Cannon Beach. Four parents, five blonde kids and the windiest day I’ve ever seen at the beach. The guys immediately begin digging a large hole for us all to put our chairs in. It was an admirable effort, you should have seen it. The women decided to bail and go shopping because Cannon Beach = shopping. I restrained myself and bought only a small gift for my mother-in-law, who is visiting soon, and two tiny bags of rocks for the kids. Not just rocks! Fancy rocks. In tiny black velvet bags. You find yourself doing things like this at Cannon Beach, convincing yourself, or worse, your friend, that more than anything you need that tiny bag of pretty shiny rocks.

And Hockey God forgot to pack a bottle of pinot grigio for me. So what was I supposed to drink, in the hole, with my chair? Away from the wind and the sand and the attacking seagulls. No fear, I had Bocce Pinot Grigio with dinner, and a glass of another white, too. It was… who knows. But it was delicious, as well.

I highly recommend Fultano’s Pizza in Cannon Beach for dinner, and Moe’s Restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner. (How many Moe’s are there? Three? One at Siletz Bay, one in Tolovana Park on the far side of Cannon Beach, one… somewhere? Damn. Sorry. Memory lapsing.)

Cannon Beach is home to the Cannon Beach Bakery, where they sell loaves and loaves and loaves of Haystack Bread. You will also see one of the Oregon coast’s Haystack Rocks. (This article says there are two: one at Cannon Beach and one at Pacific City, but an old friend says there is a third, and insists it’s at Rockaway. I can find nothing to back this up, but he’s adamant about it. And says that the one at Pacific City is the “real” Haystack Rock; the others are mere impersonators. Yeah. See what I mean? The beach… rocks… things take on a big significance there, you’d be surprised.)

Must get sleep now, too tired. Have a great week. I’m off to housesit for a friend in a couple of days, and Internet connections are supposedly spotty out her way. How can this be?

Have fun, must run.

Love,

WM

(Sung to the tune of Smelly Cat):

“Scabby dog/
scabby dog/
what are they feeding you?”

Conversation between Wacky Mommy and Hockey God, re: Wacky Dog, whose tail is chewed on, scabby and disgusting:

“How many scabs is it going to take before we have him put down? Four? Five? Twenty? What?”

“I think you were the kind of girl who brought home the puppy and then got bored with him.”

“You’re not the one who just smeared Vaseline on the dog’s ass.”