Dear Wacky Mommy:

What do you make of this dream, WM? The two dogs and I sitting on the bank of a river, I’m trying like mad to not let the dogs jump in, floating by are all these people I know, not quite floating and not quite swimming (but alive)! following them were large monkeys or apes — then a large red-headed wood-pecker shows up and starts hammering on a tree next to me. I woke up with a splitting headache and feeling sick…..what the F????

Husband’s work has been a tad stressful lately — work..no work..work..no work. He’s now looking into a career change after 20 some years in his current profession — I’m thinking maybe there are huge stress cells sloughing off him onto me while I sleep?

Sincerely,

Zip

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Dear Wacky Mommy:

I know it’s not Friday advice time yet, however I have a question: What would your advice be for calming a middle school student when their school has been closed twice in a week (TWICE!) due to “threats.” Lots of the parents are becoming frustrated at the situation, but I don’t want “parent emotions” taking over what the real issue is, and that is dealing with the kids’ emotions. I’m compiling all the advice I can get. Thanks!

Oh, we hope they find the punks who are doing this and get them the help they need.

Signed,

Zipdodah

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A disclaimer: I am not a trained professional, and none of this advice should be considered “professional medical or mental health advice” in any way, shape or form.

Dear Wacky Mommy,

I have this same problem with my husband. I think he suffers from depression, can’t sleep at night, sleeps in as late as he can get away with. It drives me crazy! He is supposed to be a role model for our children. What kind of role model sleeps in until 10 a.m. sometimes while the rest of the family is up? He does take a daily pill for depression, eats well and exercises two to three times per week (only when I make him go). I am at my last straw here and I think the sheet changing, bongo parade or nose plugging will just add to the fighting this already is causing. He thinks it is no big deal and tells me not to worry about him. I know he is stressed because he started a new job, but I think he should be getting his lazy butt out of bed early to work as hard as he can to get better at it. Please give some words of advice.

Signed,

Desperate

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Dear Wacky Mommy,

Okay, I am so effing bored at work that it may just kill me. There are only so many interesting blogs, and frankly I get to feeling guilty after a few hours of internet surfing. What’s a girl to do when her job just does not keep her entertained?

Signed,

Slacker Girl

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Dear Wacky Mommy,

How do you get your in-laws to stay in a hotel if they are going to visit you every three or four months for a week at a time, because we live in a small two-bedroom house and it would be more comfortable for all of us , especially for their three-year-old grandchild who gets displaced from her bedroom to her parents’ room every time they visit?

Signed,

Expecting Company

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Dear Wacky Mommy,

I suspect that I may have neurological damage. I want to get an MRI just to see what condition my condition is in — if you catch my drift and I’m sure you do. What do I say to my doctor? I feel weird and foolish. Should I just leave it alone? Really, what’s knowing for sure going to do for me anyway?

So, whadya got Wacky Mommy?

Signed,

Suspecting in Stumptown

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Hello, darlings. Here, have some truffles.

Questions today are:

Dear Wacky Mommy,

Blondie (But Not For Long)

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Dear Wacky Mommy:

Question: How do we encourage our daughter in her artwork without making her more conceited?

Signed,

Mother of Three

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Dear Wacky Mommy,

How do I get people to stop assuming that because I am a first-time mom, I am an ijit? My IQ did not go down just because I got knocked up.

Signed,

Smarter Than You Think

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Little situation with School Idiot? All cleared up. Until your urchins reach school-age, you don’t know just how much of a role your kid’s principal is going to play in your life. Sorry no details or I’ll start throwing things again. Or throwing up.

Flu? Wacky Girl and I are good; Wacky Boy is not quite up to speed. Wacky Daddy? Skiing. On company time. Oh, to be gainfully employed. They all get drunk on the bus, on the way there and back. Bastards. “I won’t hotdog it,” he promised me last night. “I don’t hotdog it anymore! I’ve got to stay uninjured for hockey.”

Oh, OK then. I feel all better.

And now, the Friday Advice Column for Wacky Mothers & Others:

Dear Wacky Mommy:
After you whack your hair off and get hit on (by a girl) and you’re way past the age of thirty… It’s just enough to get the right color socks on lately. What is my question? How do you deal with it? No, it’s not somebody I work with or see all the time. Is it OK to go for it? OK, is it wrong to enjoy that kind of attention?

Signed,

Married and Straight Girl, By the Way

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