“The giraffe you thought you offended last week is willing to be nuzzled today.”

— Anonymous

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr., writer

“The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.”

— Robert Lynd, writer (1879-1949)

My new favorite thing to give to kids for a present: Comic books. PowerPuff Girls, the Incredibles, Scooby Doo — I do not care, as long as it’s cheap and it keeps ’em happy. Less than 10 bucks for two. Wrap a candy bar in with it and you’ve made someone’s day. My mom’s favorite thing when she was a kid was a Little LuLu comic book and a pack of M&Ms. Why mess with success?

The guy who owns Bridge City Comics (3725 N. Mississippi Ave., 503-282-5484) has a nice store with a kids’ section. It’s near the Blue Gardenia, in case you want a cuppa joe and a homemade hoho. And he’s nothing like Comic Bookstore Guy on “The Simpsons,” fyi. He just got married and is very proud of his new wife. Awwwww…… that’s sweet, huh? Also, he has the Sock Monkey series of kids’ books, which made me happy cuz my Wacky Sister loves her sock monkeys. So I bought her one.

There’s a pet supply store a couple doors down, so the pets won’t be left out of the goodies — Salty Dog. Lots of tricks and treats for the critters.

WM

Dear Wacky Mommy: I am sorry. Am I the only one with crazy in-laws? One is a drunk at night and likes to find men and the other one is stuck in the south with his crazy wife and his four kids (Hello—-stop breeding). How to deal with these people? What I would really like to do is just go to the Caribbean and fish for our life. We would have to get a bigger boat. And lots of rum — we are parrotheads.

Signed,

Parrothead Mommy

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1) the corn is as tall as me!

2) we can’t go to Oregon Country Fair this weekend, even though a bunch of our friends are going, but it’s raining so i don’t care, anyway, as the rain makes me “la-di-da, maybe I should build a fire in the fireplace! Oh, wait, I don’t have a fireplace…”

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I’m taking the kids to the library, then to the vet (to pick up meds for cats and dog, not for the kids, fyi), then to the outdoor pool to swim and splash.

Just in case ya’ll were wondering what the Wacky Family is up to today.

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So I hear that Mavis Staples — THE Mavis Staples, Pops Staples’ daughter, she of the lilting voice — will be at the Waterfront Blues Fest on Sunday night. So I’m thinking, great, we can take the kids and head down there. It’s only, what, 5 bucks and a couple of cans of food?

Then I remember, no, we have a STUPIDASS DOG who can’t be alone during fireworks, not even if we load him up on Pabst’s Blue Ribbon (vet’s orders. She is at a loss as to what to do with him, too)) and sedatives beforehand.

Why is my life so much harder than everyone else’s?

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The sign that brought tears to my eyes:

“The wicked London tavern – thieves and drabs
To affront the blessed hillside drabs and thieves
With mended morals, quotha — fine new lives!”

— Elizabeth Barrett Browning; Aurora Leigh; 19th c.

“Quotha” means “indeed.” Pronounced (KWO-thuh). It is an interjection. (“Shows excitement/and emotion/hallelujah/hallelujah/hallEEELUUUUUJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Remember Schoolhouse Rock?)

I swiped this word and quote from A-Word-A-Day, which has been one of my favorite daily e’s for a few years now. Subscriptions are free, but they do accept donations. Anu Garg, the webmaster, is an awfully nice man. Sometimes he tells cute stories about his kid, plus he’s a computer geek, and you know I like computer geeks.

http://www.wordsmith.org/awad/